The awesomeness of quotes pt 4

After all those quotes from shows with female leads, I though it was time for something a little bit more masculine. And what's more masculine than Nathan Fillion? Right,  I wouldn't know either. So this quotes page will focus on his hit show of the moment: Castle. I really love his character, but the beauty of the show is that all of the characters are lovable. Another reason I love this show is because you really feel that the crew behind the series value their viewers. Unlike the previous shows that I quoted, this one is still going strong. So the quotes won't go further than season four for now. But I believe Castle will start again the 24th of September, so I might add some later ;-). That's enough talking. Let's get to the quotes!

Season 1

1x01 - Flowers for Your Grave
Castle: (to Alexis) "When I was your age I... wait. I can't tell that story. It's wildly inappropriate. Which, oddly enough, is my point. Don't you want wildly inappropriate stories that you can't tell your children?"

Alexis: "If I'm gonna have to keep bailing you out, you're going to have to raise my allowance... a lot."

Beckett: "No signs of struggle. He knew her."
Lanie: "Even bought her flowers. Who says romance is dead?"
Beckett: "I do. Every Saturday night."
Lanie: "A little lipstick wouldn't hurt."

Castle (to Beckett): "I'd be happy to let you spank me."

Beckett: "Are you here to annoy me?"
Castle: "I'm here for the story."

Castle: "That's too easy. The reader would never buy it."
Beckett: "This isn't one of your books, Castle. Out here, we find a guy standing over a body with a gun, he's usually the guy who did it."

Esposito: (about Castle) "The man's got the Mayor on speed dial. The rich really are different."
Beckett: "You want him? He's yours."
Esposito: "A control freak like you with something you can't control? No, no, that's gonna be more fun than Shark Week."

Castle: (Beckett grabs his nose) "Apples! Apples! Apples!"

1x02 - Nanny McDead

Beckett: "Detective Kate Beckett NYPD."
Castle: "Richard Castle, just NY."

 
Beckett: "Okay, Castle, but it's accompany and observe, not participate and annoy. Got it?"

Castle: "Participate and annoy is a lot more fun, but alright."

Castle: (to Kate about marriage) "You'd be good at it. You're both controlling and disapproving. You should really try it."

Castle: "We could always make it strip poker."
Beckett: "Sorry, but I prefer mystery to horror."

Castle: "So. Looks like I managed to make it through the case without getting injured, shot or killed."
Beckett: "Yeah, well, maybe tomorrow."

1x03 - Hedge Fund Homeboys

Castle: "Did you know in the original Greek, 'tragedy' literally means 'goat song'? ...Whatever that first story was, I can't help but think, bad things must have happened to that goat."

1x04 - Hell Hath No Fury
Castle: "Oh my god. This is quite possibly the worst coffee I've ever tasted. It's actually kind of facinatiing. It tastes like a... (pauses to sip the coffee) it tastes like a monkey peed in battery acid. Try some?"

Castle: "Hiding would be building a fortress out of my comforter and downing a fifth of scotch, but apparently that's considered unhealthy."

1x05 - A Chill Goes Through Her Veins
Beckett: [about a frozen body] "She's melting."
Castle: "Maybe we should be looking for ruby slippers."

Castle: "All right, so you and I are married."
Beckett: "We are not married."
Castle: "Relax, it's just pretend."
Beckett: "I don't wanna pretend."
Castle: "Scared you'll like it?"
Beckett: "Okay, if we're married, I want a divorce."
Apartment guy: "Are you two like this all the time?"
Castle and Beckett: "Yes."

1x06 - Always Buy Retail
Beckett: "Castle, are you having a breakdown?"
Castle: "Not a breakdown a breakthrough. I really am ruggedly handsome aren't I?"
Beckett: "I'm waiting for the breakthrough."

1x07 - Home Is Where The Heart Stops

Castle: "This is Detective Castle to all units: That's a negatory on the backup. This dirtbag's all mine."

1x08 - Ghosts
Castle: "If we're going to road trip, I'm going to have to pee first."

1x09 - Little Girl Lost
Castle: "Do I detect a hint of jealousy?"
Beckett: "In your dreams Castle."
Castle: "No, in my dreams your never jealous you just join in."

Beckett: "6 months."
Castle: "6 months….what?"
Beckett: "We dated for 6 months."
Castle: "I didn’t ask."
Beckett: "Yeah, I know, you were not asking very loudly."
Castle: "I know, I'm like a Jedi like that."

Castle: "Nice guy. I can see why it wouldn't work though."
Beckett: "Oh yeah?"
Castle: "Yeah. Handsome, strong jawed, rule follower."
Beckett: "And that's a bad thing?"
Castle: "Yes. He's the male version of you. Ying needs yang not another ying. Ying yang is harmony Ying Ying is a name for a panda."

Castle: "Is that supposed to be an insult? Because Nancy Drew solved every case."

Castle (in response to Sorenson's question about why he needs to shadow a real detective): "Well, the ones on TV seem oddly fixated on their sunglasses."

Martha: "Freud was an addict but that didn't stop him from helping people."

1x10 - A Death in the Family

Beckett: "Ahem. What's the deal with men and boobs, anyway?"
Castle: "Biological. We can't help it."
Beckett: "But doesn't it bother you that they're so obviously not real?"
Castle: (Pauses) "Santa's not real. We still love opening his presents." 

Season 2

2x01 - Deep in Death
Castle: "Hey! Can we talk about this, please?"
Beckett: "There's nothing to talk about."
Castle: "Well, at least let me know what I can do to make it up to you."
Beckett: "You can leave me alone."
Castle: "Yes, I tried that and it didn't work. Hey! I can buy you a pony!"

Beckett: "Sometimes when I am bored, I go to cafe in little Odesa and pretend to be Moskevite."
Esposito: "That's kinda hot."

Castle: "Me? Scared? No way, come on. Now excuse while I change my shorts."

2x02 - The Double Down
Castle: "Bam said the lady."

2x03 - Inventing the Girl
Rina: "Oh. You don't remember me."
Castle: "Yes, of course I do. Yeah! You're--"
Rina: "Rina."
Castle: "Rina! Yes, we met at that party with that, that thing that was late, it was crazy that...wow, what a night."

2x04 - Fool me Once
Castle: "That was awesome! I mean, well, obviously it was horrible, but... "

2x05 - When the Bough Breaks 
[Castle has arrived late to a crime scene]
Esposito: "Yeah, it's too bad, too. Your kind of case, bro'."
Castle: "Yeah?"
Ryan: "Yeah, body was found down that manhole over there. Half eaten."
Castle: "Eaten?"
Ryan: "Yeah, it was covered in some kind of green slime."
Castle: "Whoa..."
Esposito: "Yeah, it was creepy. It's as if someone or some thing is down there."
Castle: [Catching on] "Ha, that's... okay. Very funny. Great. [To Beckett] Was there a body down the manhole?"
Beckett: "Yeah."
Castle: "Okay, thank you. An adult."
Beckett: "Yeah, you should have seen what else was down there. Two metal canisters with bio-hazard stickers and yellow powder inside of them."
Castle: "You opened the... [the detectives smirk] Alright. Will someone please tell me what's really going on here?"
Ryan: "We're gonna check nearby trash cans for the murder weapon."
Castle: "What was the murder weapon, by the way?"
Ryan: "Some kind of death ray."
Esposito: "Turns your insides out."

2x06 - Vampire Weekend
Beckett: "What happened to him?"
Castle: "They never found out."
Beckett: "I am so sorry Castle that must have been really hard."
(Castle gives a sly smile)
Beckett: "You made that up!?"
Castle: 'It's what I do!"

Castle: "You smell like cherries"

2x07 - Famous Last Words

Castle to Beckett: "What I said was not confusing enough for your face to be doing what it's doing."

2x08 - Kill the Messenger

Alexis: "Looking good, Grams! A date?"
Martha: "Dining and dancing with Chet Palaburn."
Castle: "What if he turns out to be bloated and ugly?"
Martha: "Oh! How superficial do you think I am?"
Castle: "Intensely."

2x09 - Love Me Dead

Castle: "Thanks."
Beckett: "For what?"
Castle: "For not saying I told you so."
Beckett: "Oh, that starts tomorrow."

2x10 - One Man's Treasure
Lanie: "Do you know how long I have to shower before heading out on a date?"
Castle: "No, but if you need someone to time it for you, I'd be happy to--"

Castle: "That ever happen to you with me? One day you look and you see your boy is all grown up?"
Martha: "I'm still waiting for that moment, actually."
Castle: "I set you up for that, didn't I?"

Montgomery: "Is that our vic's wife?"
Beckett: "Fiancee."
Castle: "The wife is over there."
Montgomery: "Come again?"
Castle and Beckett: "Wife (tilts heads to the left), fiancée (tilts heads to the right)."

2x11 - The Fifth Bullet
Castle: "See, judging and disapproving, you are so my work wife."

2x12 - A Rose Foreverafter

Kyra Blaine (played by Alyssa Milano): "Of all the murders, in all the cites, at all the weddings, you walk into mine."

2x13 - Sucker Punch
Castle: "Are you OK?"
Beckett: "Ten years since we came home and found that detective waiting for us. Ten years since we crossed that yellow tape and went into that alley and every time I cross the tape at crime scene I think of that night."
Castle: "And that’s what makes you such a good cop."
Beckett: "What if I let her down?"
Castle: "Do you know why I chose you as my inspiration for Nikki Heat?"
Beckett: "No. Why?"
Castle: "‘Cause you’re tall."

2x14 - The Third Man
Beckett: "I have no life."
Lanie: "No, Mr. Bishop has no life. That's why he's on my table."

Castle: "Well, that's Manhattan for ya. Nobody notices anything unless it affects them directly."

2x15  - Suicide Squeeze

Beckett (to Castle): "That was Joe frickin' Torre! I've got to call my dad."

2x16 - The Mistress Always Spanks Twice
Castle: "Did you just use the word "veritable" in a sentence?"
Beckett: "Yes, I did."
Castle: "Sexy!"
Beckett: "You should hear me say 'fallacious'."

2x17 - Tick, Tick, Tick... (1)

Esposito: "Pancakes is not just breakfast. It's an edible way of saying, 'Thank you so much for last night'."

2x18 - Boom! (2)
Castle: "Every Sunday, my mom had me make her an ice pack and a Bloody Mary."

Castle: "Are you in any pain?"
Beckett: "Well, not nearly as much as you. It's killing you, isn't it?"
Castle: "What?"
Beckett: "Having to wait this long to tell me how you banged down the door."
Castle: "You want me to start from the beginning?"

Beckett: "Hell of a shot Castle."

Castle: "I was aiming for his head."

2x19 - Wrapped Up In Death

Beckett: "Either you are being a good cop or you just wanna go to the museum?"
Castle: "They have dinosaurs there!"

Beckett: "Murdered Medina just to boost ticket sales? No, that would make this Scooby Doo, and I'm not Velma."

2x20 - The Late Shaft

Castle: "You sure you want to take that many books?"
Alexis: "Overambitious for a 5 day trip?"
Castle: "You're gonna be responsible for your own pack. I think you're supposed to be more Sacagawea than a scholarly reader. Besides, look at all those pages the trees might want revenge."

Castle (to Beckett): "We need a signature line. How about, "She's armed, he's dangerous"?"

2x21 - Den of Thieves

Ryan (to Esposito): "I'm your partner. That means I'm with you until the wheels fall off."

2x22 - Food to Die For

Alexis: "Stupid glass."
Castle: "Remind me to buy smarter glasses."

Castle: (looks at a police sketch of a potential witness) "Looks kinda sketchy to me."

2x23 - Overkill
Beckett: "I cannot believe you asked for samples."
Castle: "What they said anything we want plus these aren't for me they are for Ryan and Esposito."
Beckett: "Don't you mean Charlotte and Miranda?"
Castle: "Wait that would make me Carrie."
Beckett: "You are so metrosexual for even knowing that."
Castle: "Hey, I only watched that show out of the corner of my eye when my mom had it on.... that didn't make my point quite like i wanted it to."

Beckett (translating a hysterical girl's words): "It's cry talk. There's not a girl alive who hasn't heard it from a sobbing, heartbroken girlfriend."

2x24 - A Deadly Game

Castle: "I can’t believe you’d blow off illegal fireworks for a lousy head start at a top-notch education."
Alexis: "I know. I’m a huge disappointment."

Beckett: "Wow, Castle, you are working really hard to see me in a swimsuit."
Castle: "If you’re not comfortable in a swimsuit, you can just skinny dip."


Beckett: (to a guy who just threw Castle up against a wall) "NYPD! Hands up."
(Castle raises his hands)
Beckett: "Not you, Castle."
Castle: "Right."

Alexis: "Well... Looks like I'm not the only one getting lucky this summer...(Castle glares at Alexis) Kidding! Kidding! I'm just-I'm just kidding!"
Castle: "That's not funny. That's SO not funny."

Season 3

3x01 - A Deadly Affair
Ryan (looking at cutout of Castle): "He really is ruggedly handsome."

3x02 - He's Dead, She's Dead

Castle: "I am not saying I can speak with the dead, just that there are people in the world more sensitive than me."
Beckett: "Now that's not hard to believe."
Castle: "Walked right into that one."
Ryan: "Uh-huh."

Beckett: "Why is it so important to you that I believe all this stuff about fates, psychics, and Santa Claus?"
Castle: "Because, if you don't even believe in the possibility of magic, you will never ever find it." 

3x03 - Under the Gun

Castle: "My Spidey-Sense is tingling."

Beckett: "I don't think you can handle the sight of me straddling it in tight black leather."

Castle: "You called to seek my council."

Beckett: "I wouldn't say it quite like that."
Castle: "No, no, no. You were hoping I would have some wild theory, some sort of penetrating insight that would lead us to a breakthrough."
Beckett: "Well... do you?"
Castle: ".... Na I got nothing."

3x04 - Punked

Castle: "Just saying, he was probably very comfortable when he was shot and killed."

Castle: "A 200 year old bullet can only mean one thing: time traveling killer!"

Castle: "So I wear boxers, what do you wear? Thong? Cheekies? Come on I told you mine! Bloomers? Granny panties? Commando!?"

Castle: "How do you know when you're in love?"
Beckett: "All the songs make sense."

3x05 - Anatomy of Murder
Castle: "That totally makes him McSteamy."

Castle: "Turns out Greg isn't McDreamy or McSteamy...he's McSchemey."

3x06 - 3XK

Captain Montgomery: "Feds say he is a white male, 25 to 45 years old."
Castle: "Could be me."
Captain Montgomery: "With a dysfunctional relationship with his mother."
Castle: "Still me."
Captain Montgomery: "He has a menial unimportant job."
Beckett: "Definitely you."
Castle: "Just for that my next book is based on Esposito."

3x07 - Almost Famous
Martha: "Auditions are like men, there is always another one around the corner."

Castle: "Have you ever heard of a brilliant doctor named Doogie Howser?"

3x08 - Murder Most Fowl

Castle: "What's the strangest pet you've ever had?"
Beckett: "You."

3x09 - Close Encounters of the Murderous Kind

Esposito: "Castle, just prove that ET did this, please."

3x10 - Last Call

Castle to Beckett: "Don't ruin my story with your logic."

 

Beckett: "I remember that phase, that's about the time that I got my tattoo."
Castle: "You have a tattoo... *stutters*... Where?"

3x11 - Nikki Heat

Alexis (phone rings): "Pick it up, Dad, a murder will make you feel better."

Beckett: "Do I really do that?"
Castle: "Yes and it's adorable."
Beckett: "If it's so adorable why didn't you sleep with me? The her me not the me me."
Castle: "Oh well a fictional character that I wrote based on you played by Natalie Rhodes its just way to... Meta."
Beckett: "Meta...?"

3x12 - Poof! You're Dead

Castle: "You had your hand in my pocket and I didn't even feel it? Do it again!"

 

Lanie: "Javier Esposito, when we get to this crime scene, do not wink at me, do not smile and do not even look at me with those puppy dog eyes. Got it?"

 

Beckett: "Alakazam, jackass."

3x13 - Knockdown

Captain: "You too, Castle. I don't need you playing Nancy Drew on this."

3x14 - Lucky Stiff

Castle: "Detective Beckett, did you call to tell me a bedtime story?"

3x15 - The Final Nail

Castle: "Shut the front door!"

3x16 - Setup
Castle: "For reasons too disturbing to mention, I find that hot."

3x17 - Countdown
Martha: "How old are you?"
Castle: "Old enough to afford top-of-the-line laser tag."

3x18 - One Life to Lose

Castle: "Esplanie. Lanie and Esposito. Like Fox-Can. We can call them Esplanie, which is perfect because they are always explaining things!"

3x19 - Law & Murder

Ryan: “Cowards die many times before their death. The valiant never taste of death but once.”
Esposito: "Bro, you’re not Castle."
Ryan: "Yeah, I know I’m not Castle."
Esposito: "Then stop trying to talk like him."
Ryan: "What, I’m not allowed to reference The Bard? I’m a Renaissance Man."
Esposito: "Memorizing one quote does not make you a Renaissance Man."
Ryan: "What if I memorize two?"
Esposito: "Have you memorized two?"
Ryan: "No, but what if I did?"
Esposito: "Depends on the quote."

Sandra Jenkins: "I did it. I did it. I did it."
Castle: "You killed him?"
Jenkins: "Oh my god no, of course not! Why would you think that?"
Castle: "Because you just said ‘I did it.’"

3x20 - Slice of Death

Beckett: "You had a lot of imaginary friends growing up, didn't you?"
Castle: "Still do."

3x21 -  The Dead Pool

Castle: "This is why Alexis is never going to college."

3x22 - To Love and Die in L.A.

Castle: "Never... Ever... call me kitten."

Castle: "When her blood sugar gets low she gets a little cranky."
Beckett: "Zip it kitten."

3x23 - Pretty Dead

Castle: "Bam said the costume lady!"

Beckett: (sees Castle looking at a nude photo of a victim) "Remind me to get you a subscription to a girly magazine for Christmas."
Castle: "Oh, that is so thoughtful of you!"

3x24 - Knockout

Sorry, no really 'funny' quotes in this one, but a hell of an episode!

Season 4

4x01 - Rise
Beckett: "Showing her up with the Mayor? You might as well have beaten a beehive with a bat."
Castle: "Worked didn’t it? Besides it sure was great seeing her face twitch like that."

4x02 - Heroes and Villains
Castle: "Our killer is a superhero!!"

Castle: "If you could be any comic book hero, who would you be?"
Beckett: "Elektra."

4x03 - Head Case
Castle: "Are you sure?"
Lanie: "No, I just sit down here and make stuff up all day."

4x04 - Kick the Ballistics
Castle: "Execution-style murder? Cement trucks? Can anyone else say mob hit? I’m looking at concrete evidence, right here."

Beckett: "Castle, we just got some bad news, so no hypotheticals. Just give us a name."
Castle: "Well, I have to start at the beginning."
Beckett: "Name!"
Castle: "Chin Hai Lee Chang."
Beckett: "OK, start from the beginning."

4x05- Eye of the Beholder 
Beckett: "You guys didn’t go out?"
Castle: "No."
Beckett: "Why?"
Castle: "Because I can’t afford it. Museum just slapped me with a bill for the exhibit I broke." (He shows her the bill)
Beckett: "Whoa!"
Castle: "I know! Think they’d cut me some slack after the whole ‘helping to solve the murder’ thing."
Beckett: "I guess the least the NYPD can do is take you out for a hamburger."
Castle: "I accept."
Beckett: "Let’s go."
Castle: "I could put Alexis through college on this."
Beckett: "Yeah, and med school."
Castle: "Thank God I’m rich."

4x06 - Demons
Alexis: "Dad, are you using me as a shield against flesh eating zombies?"
Castle: "No, I'm just trying to give you a better view."

Castle: "You? Skepticus Maximus?"

4x07 - Cops & Robbers
Esposito: "Hey Castle Jr., can you start acting like a cop?"

4x08 - Heartbreak Hotel
Castle: "Let's not let a little thing like murder get in the way of having a good time."

Castle: "This is the worst impromptu bachelor party while on case ever!"

Esposito: "What Elvis can't be brown. I'm El-vis."

Alexis: "He has the IQ of a squirrel."

4x09 - Kill Shot
Castle: "Don't worry mother, I saw this work on Die Hard."

Castle: "I know what the paper dolls mean!"
Gates: "Mr. Castle, now is not the time for your theatrics."

4x10 - Cuffed
Castle: "We're in handcuffs. Kinky."

Castle (to Beckett): "You would make a terrible conjoined twin."

Castle: "Lift up my shirt, pull off my boots. Under normal circumstances, I'd like where this was heading."

4x11 - Till Death Do Us Part

Castle: "If you find out a man is cheating on you, how would you kill him?"
Martha: "Knife."
Alexis: "Shoot him."

Beckett: "That's espionage."
Castle: "More like sexpionage."

4x12 -  Dial M For Mayor

Castle: "An officer and a gentleman. That could be the name of our crime log."

Martha: "So how's the case of "the phone sex girl who knew too much" going?"

4x13 - An Embarrassment of Bitches

Castle: "Your friends name is Buttons Dutton."
Martha: "That is unfortunate." 

4x14 - The Blue Butterfly

Beckett: "Did you just say Kate? Are you picturing you as the PI and me as the gangster's girlfriend?"
Castle: "No!"

4x15 - Pandora

Beckett: "What are you doing?"
Castle: "Bracing myself to shield you from a hail of bullets."

4x16 - Linchpin

Castle: "I guess the good thing about having your daughter at crime scenes is that she can bring you dry clothes."

Castle: "That whole sinking car thing is much cooler in movies than in real life."

4x17 - Once Upon a Crime

Castle: "Red Cloak. In the woods. Animal attack. She's Little Red Riding Hood!"

Castle (to Beckett): "You get cute when you get angry. Not when you get angry with me."

4x18 - A Dance with Death

Castle: "Yeah, well separated twin stories never end happily, except for The Parent Trap!" 

4x19 - 47 Seconds

Castle: "I think she's starting to like me."
Gates: "No, I'm not."

Alexis: "They say genius skips a generation."

Castle: "Apparently, so does funny."

4x20 - The Limey

Beckett: "I feel like I just walked into a bad episode of Miami Vice."
Castle: "First of all, there are no bad episodes of Miami Vice." 

4x21 - Headhunters

Martha: "Playing with dolls, are we?"
Castle: "They are action figures."

Ryan: "I feel like he's cheating on us." 

4x22 -Undead Again

Castle: "You have thirty seconds to suit up."

Castle: "My friends, that is a zombie. The killer is a zombie!"

4x23 - Always

Castle: "The most worthwhile things in life are often the most difficult. For example
(Phone rings, Beckett calling) Wow, this really is a smart phone."

For more Castlefun, look here:

- http://www.castlefanwiki.com/page/Richard+Castle+Quotes

- http://www.tvfanatic.com/quotes/shows/castle/

- http://www.fanpop.com/spots/castle/articles/15222/title/castle-quotes

The awesomeness of quotes (2)

This awesomeness of quotes will focus on another show I love. Mostly because of the familyfeel, community, mother&daughter relationship, smart references and the quirky characters. Oh, and lets not forget the amazing (and fast) dialogue! This can only be one tv series: Gilmore Girls. Just like Buffy it lasted seven season, so there's a lot to choose from. And I just think that it's incredibly funny, as some of these quotes will show.

Season 1
1x07 - Kiss and Tell
Rory: "Hey. My mom's not wearing any underwear."

Lorelai: "Oh!"
Rory: "Well, you aren't."
Taylor: "You're just being selfish, Luke."
Lorelai: "Still they don't notice. I can't take it anymore."
Taylor: "We're talking about the spirit of fall."
Lorelai: (gets the coffee herself and lifts the cover off the muffins) "What kind of muffin do you want?"
Rory: "Blueberry"
Luke: "You know where you can stick the spirit of fall? (hands Lorelai a utensil to pick up the muffins) Here, don't use your hands."
Taylor: "I don't think you're taking me seriously."
Luke: "What gave you that idea? (to Lorelai, who is leaving) No tip?"
Lorelai: "Oh, yeah,, here's a tip... serve your customers!"
Luke: "Here's another... don't sit on any cold benches."

Luke: "Will you marry me?"

Lorelai: "What?
Luke: "Just looking for something to shut you up."

1x10 - Forgiveness and Stuff
Emily: "So what exactly is going on between the two of you?"
Luke: "Nothing. Really. We're friends, that's it."
Emily: "You're idiots, the both of you."

1x 14 - That Damn Donna Reed
Lorelai: "Mmm, kickass wine."
Emily: "How poetic!"
Lorelai: "It's got a nice smell. Earthy, vibrant, you can taste the Italian's feet."
Richard: "Well, it's a Bordeaux, it's French."
Lorelai: "Ha, what's an Italian's foot doing in a French wine?"

Rory: "Can brains hurt?"
Lorelai: "Yes, it's hypochondria hour."
Rory: "No, I'm serious. Last night when I was reading my biology chapters I distinctly heard a ping in the vicinity of my brain."
Lorelai: "Your brain pinged?"
Rory: "Yeah. It just went like 'dink'."
Lorelai: "Well then, honey, your brain dinked. It didn't ping."

Lorelai: "I love to paint."
Luke: "You do?"
Lorelai: "Yes, I do."
Luke: "You love it?"
Lorelai: "I want to marry it."
Luke: "You have strange passions."
Rory: "She likes washing dishes too. She's multi-faceted abnormal."

Lorelai: "Rory just dressed up in a cute apron the other day, and so I was just teasing her about it."

Richard: "Why did you get dressed up in an apron?"
Lorelai: "W..well, we decided to give up on that pesky Harvard dream and focus on something more realistic. Mom, dad, Rory's decided to become a maid, just like I was."

<

Rory: "Each of us have to follow a chick through it's entire growth process. Everything has to be logged, eating habits, sleeping habits..."

Lorelai: "Houdini habits."

Rory: "She got out."

Lorelai: "She ran far."

Rory: "But she lived."

Lorelai: "She's a better bird for it."

Rory: "Thank God Luke found her."

Emily: "Luke found her?"

Lorelai: "What?"

Emily: "Rory said that Luke found her."

Lorelai (to Rory): "Getting me back for the apron thing?"

Rory: "Sorry."
<

Emily (about Luke): "And how did he know that the bird was missing? What, was he strolling by your house and he heard your plaintive cries for help?"
Lorelai: "Mom."
Emily: "Or the helpless cheep of a chick in trouble?"
Lorelai: "I called him, Mom. OK? I called him and asked him to come over and help me look for the bird. OK?"
Emily: "It seems like this man is always around when you're in trouble."
Lorelai: "He's a good friend."
Emily: "Oh, please."
Lorelai: "Do we have to discuss this?"
Emily: "Lorelai, I'm getting a little tired of being lied to."
Lorelai: "Apparently we do."
Emily: "This man was at Rory's birthday party, he came to the hospital with you, he's the male lead in every story you tell, you go to the diner every single day. I've seen the way he looks at you, the way you look at him. I'm not a fool."
Lorelai: "Mom, please."
Emily: "Why do you treat me like I don't have a clue in the world as to what is going on in your life? Now I'm asking you, as a favor, if you have any respect for me at all as your mother, just tell me. Do you have feelings for this man?"
Lorelai: "I don't know. Maybe I do. I haven't given it much thought. Maybe I do."
Emily: "Thank you. I'm glad you were finally honest with me. Now we can discuss what on earth you could possibly be thinking."

Lorelai: "So. Dinner, thoughts?"

Rory: "Let's have some."

1x 16 - Star-Crossed Lovers and Other Strangers

Chase : "So Lorelai, are you a member of the DAR?"
Lorelai: "No, I'm not. D-A-R-N."

1x 18 - The Third Lorelai

Emily: "Everyone's awefully quiet tonight."

Lorelai: "Sorry Mom, I'm just tired."

Rory: "Me too - school."

Lorelai: "Work."

Rory: "Life."

Lorelai: "Dig it man."

Rory: "Peace out Humphrey."

Emily: "Mystery. (pause) Well this is just ridiculous. Three intelligent women sitting here in complete silence. There must be something to talk about. Do you know that every night at dinner, the Kennedy clan would sit around the table having lively debates about everything under the sun? They would quiz each other about current events, historical facts, intellectual trivia. Now the Gilmore clan is just as smart and worldly as the Kennedy's so come on, somebody, say something."

Lorelai: "Do you know that butt models make 10.000 dollars a day?"

(Rory chuckles)

Emily: "Camelot is truly dead."

Richard: "Emily!"

Emily: "In here, just follow the crickets."

Richard: "I am sorry I'm late, but I come bearing wonderful news."

Emily: "Siri, bring Mr. Gilmore a plate!"

Richard: "I just got off the phone."

Emily: "Would you like to change first?"

Richard: "No, no, no. I'm fine. So I..."

Emily: "Siri, Mr. Gilmore is hungry!" (placing a napkin in his lap)

Richard: "Emily, I am perfectly capable of putting a napkin on my lap."

Emily: "Alright, I'm sorry. You were on the phone."

Richard: "Long distance."

Lorelai: "God?"

Richard: "London."

Lorelai: "God lives in London?"

Richard: "My mother lives in London."

Lorelai: "Your mother is God?"

Richard: "Lorelai."

Lorelai: "So. God is a woman..."

Richard: "Lorelai."

Lorelai: "And a relative. That's so cool, I'm gonna totally ask for favors."

Richard (to Rory): "Make her stop."

Rory: "Oh, that I could."

Emily: "You spoke to your mother."

Richard: "Yes, I did. She's fine, she sends her love and ... she's coming to visit."

Emily: "What?"

Lorelai: "You're kidding!"

Emily: "When?"

Rory: "I'm gonna get to meet my great-grandma?"

Richard: "Lorelai the first."

Emily: "When?"

Lorelai: "I was named after her."

Rory: "I figured."

Emily: "Richard, when?"

Richard: "You're going to love her. My mother is brilliant, absolutely brilliant."

Lorelai: "We share that also."

Emily: "I'm asking a question here, does no one hear me? Am I suddenly invisible?"

Richard: "I'm sorry. What was the question?"

Emily: "When is your mother arriving?"

Richard: "A week from today. Rory, I'm telling you, it's going to be such a treat."

Emily: "Excuse me."

Lorelai: "I still can't get over that I'm related to God. It's gonna make getting Madonna tickets so much easier."

or simply watch the entire version here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-QD7tbpOIE

Rory (about Paris and Tristan leaving the classroom for a private conversation): "Or we could wait for her to come back in to see if she wants us to know."

Louise: "Those who simply wait for information to find them, spend a lot of time sitting by the phone. Those who go and find it themselves, have something to say when it rings."
Rory: "Nietzsche?"
Louise: "Dawson."
Rory: "My next guess."

Season 2
2x05 - Nick & Nora/Sid & Nancy

Rory: "Oh my God, I hate her."
Lorelai: "Ah, me too."
Rory: "You have no idea who I'm talking about."
Lorelai: "Solidarity, sister."

2x07 - Like Mother, Like Daughter
Rory: [startled by Paris] "God, you're like a pop-up book from hell!"

2x08 The Ins and Outs of Inns
Rory: "You were a Trekkie?"
Luke: "I was not a Trekkie."
Lorelai: "Oh, oh. I do believe denying you were a Trekkie is a violation of the prime directive."
Rory: "Indubitably, Captain."

Luke: "It was a gift from my aunt, I wore it to make her happy."
Lorelai: "I've never wanted to make any aunt of mine that happy."Rory: "I hate fighting with friends."
Lorelai: "That's what enemies are for."
Rory: "And God knows, we have our share of those."

2x09 - Run Away, Little Boy
Lane: "I was just expecting a call from Rory and I thought..."
Mrs. Kim: "You do your math?"
Lane: "Yes."
Mrs. Kim: "History?"
Lane: "Yes."
Mrs. Kim: "Biology?"
Lane: "No."
Mrs. Kim: "Why?"
Lane: "Well, I'm not taking biology."
Mrs. Kim: "Why?"
Lane: "I took it last year."
Mrs. Kim: "And that's it? One year and you know all there is to know?"
Lane: "Well, I..."
Mrs. Kim: "Tomorrow we look into private school."
Lane: "Mama, please, the phone."
Mrs. Kim: "Five minutes. I'm counting."

2x10 - The Bracebridge Dinner
Lorelai: "What about Paris? Does she ever sleep?
Rory: "I think she periodically makes a whirring noise and then just shuts down."

Mrs. Kim: "This is my stuff. Don't need any more stuff. People have too much stuff."
Lorelai: "You know, you're right. People have too much stuff. Absolutely."
[Mrs. Kim and Lane walk away]
Rory: "Says the woman with 64 pairs of shoes."
Lorelai: "Thus proving my point."

Jess: "We should have eaten before we came."

Luke: "Shh! And...yeah."

Lorelai: "Hey Mom, you didn't make it back to the room last night. Did you get lucky?"
Emily: "Could you be any cruder?"
Lorelai: "Yeah, I could be cruder. Hey Mom, did you get lai-"
Rory [intercepts]: "Thanks for coming!

2x11 - Secrets and LoansRory: "I got a 740 verbal and a 760 math."
Lorelai: "Ugh, thank God you're not an idiot."
Rory: "I got a 740 verbal and a 760 math?"
Lorelai: "Those are damn good scores little lady, really. Amazing. Top notch. Those are PSA-T-rific. Sorry, it was just lying there, I had to go for it. You're frowning."
Rory: "How did I get a higher score in math?"
Lorelai: "Who cares?"
Rory: "But I'm stronger in verbal. Verbal is my thing."
Lorelai: "No, verbal is my thing."

Rory: "We have a situation here and she's being so stubborn."
Dean: "Huh."
Rory: "What?"
Dean: "What what?"
Rory: "What was with the 'huh'?"
Dean: "Nothing."
Rory: "No, there was a meaning behind that 'huh'. That was a loaded 'huh'. That was not a normal 'huh'. You meant to say something with that 'huh', and now you're taking it back."
Dean: "Okay, now..."
Rory: "Don't use that kind of 'huh' if you're not prepared to defend it. Why aren't you saying anything?"
Dean: "Because words are a very dangerous thing right now."
Rory: "You were saying that I'm stubborn just like my mother."
Dean: "I was saying that in addition to all the wonderful amazing qualities that the two of you share there is possibly, on occasion, a similar tendency to dig your heels in."

Lorelai: "You are not seriously sitting there."
Emily: "No. It's a hologram. Lifelike, isn't it?"

2x12 - Richard in Stars Hallow
Emily: "So Lorelai, are you dating?"
Lorelai: "Uh, hm, no, I'm not dating."
Emily: "Really? There's no one at all?"Lorelai: "No, totally single."
Emily: "Any chance you'd get back with Max?""Lorelai: "No Mom, there's no chance."
Emily: "What about the man at the diner, the one who refuses to shave?"
Lorelai: "Luke, he's just a friend Mom."
Emily: "Do you think you'll be single your entire life?"
Lorelai: "Excuse me?"
Emily: "I mean, in terms of your finding someone, what do you think the odds are?"
Lorelai: "Okay, what is going on?"
Emily: "Well, I visited the family mausoleum today."
Lorelai: "Never what you think it's gonna be!" Rory: "You are going to uncover the seedy underbelly of Stars Hollow?"
Paris: "Yes."
Rory: "Paris, Stars Hallow doesn't have a seedy underbelly. We don't even have a meter maid."

Rory: "All right, so we're here now, where do you wanna go?"
Paris: "I don't know, where's the bad part of town?"
Rory: "Uhh, over there."
Paris: "What?"
Rory: "Uh, people... They are very upset with the color of that fence."

Paris: "It's pretty common knowledge that diners are breeding grounds for prostitution and drug dealers."
Luke: "What?"
Paris: "Have you ever seen anything like that going down here?"
Luke: "Have I ever -"
Paris: "What about that guy over there? What's his story?"
Luke: "Reverend Nichols?"
Paris: "Reverend Nichols, huh? What's that, like Dr. Feelgood?"
Luke: "Rory, how much do you like this person?"
Rory: "Do what you gotta do, Luke."
[Jess comes down the steps, into the diner]
Paris: Hey, where'd he come from? What's up there? Is that where you keep the girls? You got yourself a little cathouse up there?

Lorelai: "Rory, we're home!"
Richard: "Next time, stop the car completely before you get out."
Lorelai: "Rory, for the love of God, be home!"
Rory: "I'm here, sorry! I was on the phone. How was your - [Lorelai grabs Rory and hugs her very tightly] Ooh, okay."
Lorelai: "I don't think I've ever love you quite as much as I love you right now."
Rory: "Ah, ribs cracking... organs crushing."
Lorelai: "Yeah, well. Love hurts."

Gypsy: "Okay, I found something wrong."
Richard: "You did?"
Dean: "What?"
Gypsy: "Windshield wipers. Came right off in my hand, very dangerous. Thank God I check it again."
Dean: "Gypsy, you broke those off yourself."
Gypsy: "Yes I did."
Dean: "Put 'em back!"
Gypsy: "I can't look at this car anymore."
Dean: "Gypsy!"
Gypsy: "I miss my home."
Dean: "Put them back."
Richard: "Now I suppose the car is safe."
Dean: "It is."
Richard: "I'm still not sure it's a appropriate gift."
Dean: "I understand that."
[They stand silently next to each other for a moment, arms crossed.]
Richard: "How tall are you?"
Dean: "Why, you wanna dance?"
Richard: "No, thank you. [pauzes] I appreciate the offer though."

2x13 - A-Tisket, A-Tasket
Lorelai: "This is a picture of me."
Miss Patty: "It is?"
Lorelai: "Yeah. Why do you have a picture of me in your wallet?"
Miss Patty: "Oh, uh, well it's a very nice picture."
Lorelai: "Thank you. Why do you have a very nice picture of me in your wallet?"
Miss Patty: "I'm a stalker?"
Lorelai: "Or?"
Miss Patty: "Or, when, in my daily travels, I run across a nice single guy..."
Lorelai: "Oh God!"

Lorelai: "Ah man. I remember the days of lying to my mother about a boy. Once I had a boy hidden in the closet and of course Mom wouldn't leave, so I finally had to pretend to get sick to my stomach just to get her out of the room long enough for him to climb out the window and down the tree. He fell, broke his leg. Ah, to be young again."

Jackson: "I think we should get married."
Sookie: "What?"
Jackson: "I think we should get married."
Sookie: "But - uh, but..."
Jackson: "Soon."
Sookie: "Are you pregnant?"

2x14 - It Should Have Been Lorelai
Mr.s O'Malley: "And on the Chilton team, we have Rory Gilmore and Paris Gellar."
[Sookie and Lorelai cheer very loudly]Lorelai: "Owww!"
Sookie: "Whooooo!"
[Everyone else is silent en Rory looks a little embarrassed]Sookie: "Were we not supposed to do that?"
Lorelai: "Maybe no one noticed."

Lorelai: [to Rory] "So, I'm dying to hear about your night with Sherry. How was it? Give it to me, A to Z, beginning to end, soup to nuts."

Kirk: "Excuse me Mrs. Kim. I'm Kirk."
Mrs. Kim: "I know you're Kirk. I've known you since you were two."
Kirk: "That's no guarantee that people remember me."

Michel [to Rory]: "Ah, get away from me evil girl!"
Rory: "But..."
Michel: "Never will I do anything for you again, ever, ever, never!"
Rory: "Well if it makes you feel any better, you had really good form."
Michel: "You are your mother's child."
Rory: "Thank you!"

2x15 - Lost and Found
Lorelai: "Whatcha doing?"
Luke: "I'm looking for my supply ledger."
Lorelai: "Is it going well?"
Luke: "It's going fine."
Lorelai: "You have a sock on your shoulder. Is it helping you look?"

Luke: "I bought one of those Belgian waffles with ice cream dipped in chocolate."
Lorelai: "You ate that?"
Luke: "No, I didn't eat it!"
Lorelai: "Of course not."
Luke: "I'm upset, not suicidal."
Lorelai: "Right."
Luke: "I knew I just had to do something and I had your voice going round and round in my head."
Lorelai: "Yeah, it's kinda like the Small World song."
2x17 - Dead Uncles and Vegetables
Emily: "What do you think of the Romanovs?"
Luke: "They probably had it coming"

2x22 - I Can't Get Started
Lorelai: "Oy, with the poodles already!"

Rory: "She and Luke have been in this fight for too long. She's gotta do this."
Dean: "You're cruel."
Rory: "Tough love, baby. Oops, I think she's coming in."
Dean: "How can you tell?"
Rory: "She's got shoe sale face on."

Lorelai: "But I'm here now and hey, I'm like cheese."
Dean: "What?" 
Rory: "She gets better with time."
Dean: "Ah."
Rory: "Sorry Gouda, we've got school."

Michel: "All right, the piano movers will be here at eight and the chairs will be set up at nine. All the rooms are made up and ready. I will be in at ten. Now I am going home unless you would like me to stay."
Lorelai: "Actually, I would. Thanks."
Michel: "No, I'm sorry. I think I said that wrong. I am going home now unless you would like me to stay."
Lorelai: "I would love you to stay, thanks for offering."
Michel: "Okay, see, once again, my English not so good. One more time. I am going home now, after working six hours longer than I usually work and performing task I despise and am ashamed of, and now I am going home to wash off the stench of this horrifying day, that is, unless, for some unknown Godforsaken reason, you need me to stay."
Lorelai: "Well, actually -"
Michel: "Goodbye."

Season 3
3x08 - Let the Games Begin

Luke: "Very romantic."
Lorelai: "Says the man who yelled 'Finally!' at the end of Love Story."

3x13 - Dear Emily and Richard
Lorelai: "It's from my mother."
Rory: "What is it?"
Lorelai: "It's heavy. Must be her hopes and dreams for me."
Rory: "I thought she discarded those years ago."

3x19 - Keg! Max!
Rory: "It's Friday night. We should be out, I don't know, partying with the homies."
Lorelai: "Our Stars Hollow homies are all in bed by now."

Season 4
4x10 - The Nanny and the Professor

Lorelai: "The plural of cul-de-sac is culs-de-sac?" 
Rory: "Yes."
Lorelai: "That doesn't even sound like English."
Rory: "That's because it's French."

4x22 - Raincoats and Recipes

Rory (while playing a videogame with Lane): "Where'd he go?"
Lane: "I don't know."
Rory: "What do I do?"
Lane: "I don't know!"
Rory: "Did I lose?"

Lane: "Well, you have no head, so probably."

Rory: "So this is what teenage boys are doing instead of watching television? 
Lane: "Apparently."
Rory: "Seems like a lateral move."

Season 5
5x01 - Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller

Lorelai: "I don't want to forget it ever happened. It was a great kiss."
Luke: "Yeah?"
Lorelai: "If one of us had been a frog, it would have had some seriously impressive consequences."

Rory (while talking about Rory and Dean sleeping together): "Why are you whispering?"
Lane: "Because I just think that no matter where she is, my Mom can hear this conversation."

5x06 - Norman Mailer, I'm Pregnant!
Doyle: "Man, I hate those kind of guys - those privileged, white males."
Rory: "Doyle, you're a privileged white male."
Doyle: "Well, he's more privileged. And way more whiter."

5x17 - Pulp Friction
Lorelai: "If it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one."

Season 6
6x10 - He's Slippin' Em Bread ... Dig?

Rory: "They never invited their priest over to try and talk you out of having sex!"
Lorelai: "Five times! And on the last one, they triple-teamed with a priest, a rabbi, and a Mormon missionary. I made so many jokes that night I should have had a microphone and a brick wall behind me."

Season 7
7x01 - The Long Morrow

Rory: "Well, you know, I guess we don't have to talk about... stuff."
Lorelai: "Yeah... Who says we always have to be talking? We can not talk!"
Rory: "Of course we can."
(pause)
Lorelai: "Okay, we should probably talk about how we're not gonna talk..."

Ending with one of my faves from 4x18: 

Thanks to the amazing writers team behind this show. They really made one of the most enjoyable shows on television ever.Note: This page will keep changing, just like the Buffyquotes page. Also check out these websites for more quotes, or simply do what I do: Make time for a rewatch ;-).

- http://www.tvfanatic.com/quotes/shows/gilmore-girls/

- http://www.wishafriend.com/quotes/gilmoregirls/

- http://gilmore-ism.com/quote/all

- http://homepage.eircom.net/~odyssey/Quotes/Popular/TV/TheGilmoreGirls.html
- http://www.tvrage.com/Gilmore_Girls
- http://www.tv.com/shows/gilmore-girls/
- http://www.gilmoregirls.org/