zaterdag 28 januari 2012

Choices

In a lot of movies and series there are people who make the wrong choices. Their excuses are usually that they 'didn't have a choice'. Which is the weakest excuse ever, because you ALWAYS have a choice.

Situations and lies
In high school series it has to do with choosing between love, friends, family, homework, parties or other teenage things (or vice versa). When it's a show about twenty or thirty something people it's between your loved ones and probably work (or what you are willing to do to get a job or a boy/girlfriend). People get caught in lies and don't know how to get out of the situation. It usually escalates into this big thing where the characters scream at each other and the friendship is (momentarily) broken. The beauty of such shows/movies is that it takes you with the story and gets you to see the situation in the light of the character. 
Everybody knows that it's not good to lie, but people still do it. At that point you make a choice. Actually your life is full of choices you probably wish you wouldn't have to make. Whether it's about choosing between clothes (to buy or wear), software or computers and such, it's all about choices. The wrong choices also lead to guilt or negativity. The more important choices have to do with your lifestyle however and the kind of a person you want to be.

Staying true to yourself
When you are given a hard choice it gives you the opportunity to self reflect. In series/movies it's about a fictional problem where a lot depends on it. Especially in soaps, such as stealing money to pay for your mother's medical bills. In real life it's more low key. Like telling a friend what you heard others say about them, or maybe about choosing to go to friends in stead of your sisters birthday party. When you make a choice like that, you consider how it will effect those involved and you try to do the good thing. 
There are some bigger problems/situations where people get in way over their heads. When they are in such a position they might think that they don't have a choice. But they always do. I can't think of a good example from my own life, but maybe something like people discriminating others, or harrassing or hurting them. People who buy a gun and end up shooting a mall full of people... (the last one maybe is a bit extreme, I admit. But it has happened, though I would think they have psychological problems, so their situation is different). They all have a choice. Namely to be the better person, to be better than that. You can choose not to fight (like Ghandi) and take whatever comes next. It might be hard, but at least you know you were being true to yourself and you don't have to feel guilty.

Buffy and it's amazing writers (SPOILERS!)
As I said before, I get inspired by shows. I always wanted to write something about choices because of two episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. In this light I also want to share these beautiful moments here.
The first is the from the episode 'Lie to Me' (2x07) where Buffy's old high school crush comes to visit. As it turns out, he wants to become a vampire and is willing to sacrifice others in the proces including her. You soon find out that this guy, Ford - Billy Fordam - has a brain tumor and that's why he is doing all of it. He wants to stay young and live forever. So Buffy tells him "You have a choice. You don't have a good choice, but you have a choice!" It really hit me, because people use this as an excuse all the time. And it's so true. Even the hardest choices come down to it and what you are willing to sacrifice to make that choice.


The second moment is in the tenth episode of season three ('Amends') when Buffy and Angel have a fight. He thinks the world would be better of without him, so he is waiting for the sun to come up (and let it kill him, because he's a vampire). Here are some quots from their argument:
Angel: "I'm weak. I've never been anything else. [...]."
Buffy: "You're weak. Everybody is. Everybody fails. [...] Angel, you have the power to do real good, to make amends."
[...]
A: "Buffy, please. Just this once, let me be strong."
B: "Strong is fighting. It's hard, and it's painful, and it's everyday. It's what we have to do, and we can do it together."

This also made me think of choices, because a lot of the time the right choice is the harder choice. You could end up hurting someone or yourself in the process. So you have to fight for what you believe and be true to yourself. And I guess it all comes down to the question about what kind of a person you want to be and relate that to the choices you make. 

(sorry, I couldn't find one with better quality)

P.s. There's also an episode called 'Choices' (3x19). Maybe I should have mentioned that one as well, but I thought my blog was long enough as it is. It's a really good ep as well, so be sure to watch it if you are interested ;-).

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