Much Ado About Nothing - DVD Review

Joss Whedon: the man behind my fave show ever, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. In 2012 he made a movie for love. And it got picked up by the media, went to many film festivals so I finally got to see it during Amsterdam Film Week in 2013. Let me tell you: It was well worth the wait. As I was going to meet several actors during HalloWhedon 5 I really wanted a dvd as well, so I could get it signed. However, as this drama/comedy of 109 minutes, wouldn't reach me before the convenion, my dear friend, Captain Rhys, who lives in England, ordered it for me and gave it to me during the con. And what better way is there to show how much I love this dvd of Much Ado About Nothing, than to write a review?

My review
Joss Whedon, creator of shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, Dollhouse and recently Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, is probably most famous for the action feature The Avengers with Robert Downey Jr and many others. When he had some time off after filming the previously named movie, he was supposed to go to Italy with his wife Kai. However... Joss can't sit still. Because in those two weeks off, he decided to film his dream project: Much Ado About Nothing.

Much Ado About Nothing is modern version of Shakespeare’s play with the same title. The story remains mostly unadapted, except for the opening which includes a 'one-night-stand’ with Beatrice (Amy Acker) and Benedick (Alexis Denisof). Some time later they meet again in her uncle's house, Leonato (Clark Gregg); Now Benedick is fiercly against marriage and Beatrice against men. But Leonato has more guests. His own daughter, Hero (Jillian Morgese), falls in love with Claudio (Fran Kranz), friend of Benedick and Don Pedro (Reed Diamond) – to whom Hero is engaged/betrothed. The most dangerous guest, however, is Don John (Sean Maher), brother of Don Pedro, who wants nothing more than destroy the happiness of others. 

The Bard
You don't mess with classics. That's a message Whedon clearly understood. Even though the ‘one night stand’ is a small adaptation, the dialogue remains mainly unchanged. While Shakespearean English may be hard to understand, especially for those who didn't get English literature in high school, the story is understandable. The fact that ‘Old English’ is the spoken language in this movie, it doesn't have to be something to hold you back. de gesproken taal is, hoeft absoluut geen drempel te zijn. The quick dialogue is so energetic that you're simply taken by the actors emotions and actions. Other than that the story in itself is a classic filled with comedy, drama and exciting.

An extraordinary filmlocation
For the entirety of the movie they only used one location. You kinda have to when you shoot the entire thing in just twelve days. Joss used his own house for this, which can been seen as a character itself in teh story. It's a beautiful mansion, full of stairs, a large kitchen, and many rooms big enough to host a party. Not to mention the beautiful view from the garden. More than a (castle of a) house isn't necessary for the story. The many plotlines all have a the space to develop, from the many secret get togethers and conconting plans in back rooms, up to the staircases and windows from where the characters can eavesdrop. It creates a dynamic play between the many actors and storylines. A big bonus to the Whedonians themselves (fans of the works of Joss) is that they get to see the house where the 'genius' himself lives and where many of his works came into existence. 

The Whedon family
For Whedonians such as myself, this movie is one big party. Whedon has drum op his actors and crew from most of the tv shows and movies where he worked on. Which means: Lots of familiar faces, with whom he - while his tv shows were still on air - used to have Shakespeare readings at his home. And then to think that most of them only had little to no experience in Shakespearean theatre. That they know how to convey the story to the audience - even when Shakespearian can't have been an easy language to speak - is admirable. Everyone knows just what their characters needs: From the puppy dog eyes between Fran Kranz and Jillian Morgese, to the cold stare from Sean Maher, the funny dynamic between Tom Lenk and Nathan Fillion to the sneaky planning of Clark Gregg and Reed Diamond. There's no moment where their performance falters. The most enchanting performance however is from Amy Acker and Alexis Denisof. They can open their box of skills and completely let themselves go: From slapstick comedy to drama. These two know how to bring this love story in an entirely new way and let you enjoy the whims which go hand in hand with being smitten.  
(FYI: A couple of other known faces are Romy Rosemont, Riki Lindhome, Ashley Johnson)

With tears in your eyes
Comedies are always tricky. Especially when you use an old language that few people will understand/be able to follow. Whedon understood that Shakespeare's work never fades. The jokes are just as funny, but even more important is how you bring them. And this is where Whedon's Much Ado excells. You'll have tears in your eyes from laughing because this Much Ado About Nothing is funnier than you've ever seen before. If you've seen the Kenneth Brannagh version, you'll probably compare the two. But these movies are beyond comparison. Whedon and his actors bring humor to a new level by using the location and the talents of the actors to the max. Whether it's Denisof' singing or Acker's and Denisof's clumpsiness in the garden and kitchen. Nothing is funnier then when these two are trying to eavesdrop on conversations about each other while sneaking through the house.

Back to black (and white)
It may seem as a contradiction to film this movie in black and white when you want to tell a classic story in a modern way. It's a risky choice of style, but in this case it absolutely works. Because it high lights the timelessness ofthe story and accentuates both the location as the acting. The white fades in between the scenes falls in line with this style perfectly as it makes for a sublte transition, without abruptly jumping from scene to scene. It all fits perfectly together which is a joy to see. 

Alright, I admit it: I'm partially biased. Joss Whedon is a genius and hero in my book and can't really make mistakes. But aside from that Much Ado About Nothing is one of the best movies I've seen in the past years. It has all the right ingredients: A great cast, a fantastic script that can make you laugh, cry, scared, but mostly takes you up in it's story. That Whedon chose this style, and the location as well as using the original Shakespearean dialogue, enhances all the aspects that made the play a succes. The modern twist (contemporary clothing, home, cell phones and setting) provides a fresh look on the story and shows that love stories like these remain timeless. It doens't really happen that right after watching a movie I want to see it again, but after seeing Much Ado I knew right away that I could watch this movie at least ten times more. Much Ado About Nothing is without question the must-see of the year!

Extra's
What is a dvd without extra's? There aren't too many extra's on this dvd, but it does include a commentary by Joss Whedon himself. In his eyes his Much Ado About Nothing is simply the latest version and not THE version. There have been many versions before and he knows there will be after. Without giving too much away, there are several subjects that he talks about. You get to learn about a lot of fun facts of the movie, such as it being a home party for Joss Whedon and like the fact that the children's room was actually pink. Therefore a black and white filter wasn't really all that strange. Whedonians will also love some of the comments, like how Fillion plays a little Captain Hammer in his role. He also explains his choices in the movie itself. For instance about how he didn't understand everything Shakespeare wrote and to make sense of it, it sometimes contains changes to the script.
Other than that my edition also contained some Limited Edition Art Cards which are a nice little something extra. As for the dvd details: the menu is very dynamic with moving pictures and the dvd contains the commentary as well as a trailer of the movie. You could also choose to use the audio description, which pretty much tells everything that's happening on screen. And if you'd like to just watch a particlar scene, you can do so easily with the scene selection.

If you're still not sure if you'd like to watch this movie, than I end my review the trailer, to have you decide for yourself ;-)

HalloWhedon 5 - More Epic Shit

Last weekend was the best weekend of the year: HalloWhedon - 5th edition already! The weekend devoted to works of Joss Whedon, where fans gather and actors come to meet them. This year was a little bit different than others though: It wasn't in London as all the previous editions had been, but it was in Birmingham (Hilton Hotel). Initially it wasn't even supposed to be for just Whedon, but also other shows. Luckily we got our wish and it stayed Whedon and the line up was amazing!!! We even had one of the most amazing writers with us: Jane Espenson :D. Unfortunately Amy Acker had to cancel, because of work (Person of Interest), but we still had seven guests so it was promising to be a busy and awesome weekend.

(Time for EPICNESS)

Rocky start

On Friday morning Christa and I planned to meet up at Schiphol at eight for our flight. But as I got there, I got a text that her dad lost his ID... We all went through some pretty crappy shit to see what our possibilities were and they weren't all to good. Eventually it was decided that I would get on the plane and Christa and her dad had to rebook so they could go home and search for his ID. It was an awful way to start a weekend that was supposed to be amazing. So we hugged, wished each other luck and we would see each other in Birmingham at the hotel. My flight was alright - even though the left propellor not working in the beginning made me a bit anxious - and when I got to Birmingham I ran into some other Dutchies including my roommate Yvonne. We found our way to the hotel and checked into our rooms.

One of the most important things of a weekend like this is good food. So we took a walk around the hotel and in the hotel to see what our options were. It was nada. There was nothing around so we would either have to order pizza or go to the airport again (which was not too far away). We did manage to get some fresh air though: it was a beautiful park and had a lovely pond. As we started to make our way back again we ran into the twins from Belgium and we made our way back to the hotel. When the twins were busy checking in some very familiar faces caught my eye, because everyone started arriving!!!!! Lots of hugs were given and received and I even got a little teary eyed seeing Nicola, Sarah, Joey, Elspeth, Rhys and his lovely fiancé Joanne, Stephen and Carrie again for the first time in a year. It truly was the best!!! And I was overjoyed when I saw Christa and her dad standing in the lobby!! They made it and all in time for the opening ceremony. We hang out some and decided to eat at the airport with a group of friends. It was a delicous meal and I was so happy I couldn't get the smile of my face.

(Getting a bite to eat with the scoobs and newbies)

At 19.30h the Opening Ceremony was about to begin and all guests were called on stage!!! This moment always reminds me of a rock concert with all of us screaming, shouting, yelling and clapping... So much clapping, because they all deserve it. K Todd Freeman (Buffy, TMNT), Jeff Rickets (Buffy, Angel, Firefly), Sarah Hagan (Buffy, Freaks and Geeks), Tom Lenk (Buffy, Angel, Cabin in the Woods, Much Ado About Nothing), Brad Bell (Husbands), Jane Espenson (writer, Buffy, Angel, Once Upon a Time and soooo much more) and Alexis Denisof (Buffy, Angel, Dollhouse, Much Ado About Nothing, How I Met Your Mother) all said a few words and thanked us for making it possible. The usual things were explained about what you could find where and how everythig worked and then it was time for the wine reception for the Gold Card Holders (which was me :D ).

Our friends group has become so big over the past few years that we immediately took up an entire table. We started chatting and were soon joined by - I believe the first person was Alexis Denisof. *sigh* He's so handsome... *sigh again*. All the guests get some time to chat to the people at various tables and we chatted a lot. They probably say this to every table, but I still liked hearing it that pretty much every guest told us that they enjoyed our table the most :D. I asked Alexis when we could see him dance and Tom if he'd ever been in Amsterdam. Jeff tried to pinpoint where we came from by our names and Jane told us she had a friend from the Netherlands and could still remember the numbers 'elf en twaalf' (eleven and twelve) because they rhymed. Unfortunately Tom wasn't feeling well, so he wouldn't shake hands or hug, but that didn't really matter. It was just awesome to have him there! K Todd and Sarah were also so nice and a real treat to be around. Everybody had so much to talk about and time simply went to fast. The one guest that I totally fell in love with though, is Brad Bell. He was so shy in the beginning because he thought nobody knew him!!! He and Jane made the most amazing sitcom/webseries Husbands and it was so nice to get to talk to him.

As I said, the time went by way to quickly and the reception ended... By then the party had already started, so we all went to our rooms and changed for the Hawaian party. Even Brad, Jane, Sarah and Jeff showed up (I hope I didn't miss anybody). They didn't know it was a themed party, so I gave Brad one of my 'Lei's' and we chatted a bit. It was an amazing first day/night, but it was very eventful so I went to bed pretty early. With lots of hugs from all the friends I had to miss for a year and even a surprise hug from the great Clairificus :). 

(The ReWatchers - our facebookgroup with whom we rewatch Joss' shows and movies)

Quite the busy schedule
Because we had so many guests this year - which was awesome - we had a very busy schedule of getting our autographs and photographs taken. It pretty much meant running from one side of the hotel to the other and passing friends along the way. I must admit that I was a bit bummed about this because I hardly got to see or talk to my friends. Even at the talks - which took place in the afternoon - our group was very much split up. The talks were great, I even got to ask some questions myself: Alexis had so many wonderful things to say and he's just the nicest guy! Alyson is one lucky lady!! And Sarah and Jeff together, that was something alright! We also had a screening of the episode Band Candy (Buffy) with commentary by Jane Espenson and K Todd Freeman. Afterwards they also got on stage and we got to ask them some questions. It was so wonderful and we had a lot of laughs with all of it. The final talk of the day was with K Todd and Tom after which the Auction followed. There's always so many great things that people pay soooooo muuuuuuch money for! It's uncanny. I wish I had that kind of money :P. But I always go, because I wanna know what kind of wonderful stuff they have every year.

(Our wonderful group of friends during the Halloween party)

After the auction we had some time to kill - or eat... We had actually planned a pizza party with the ReWatchers (our facebook group with who we watch all the works of Whedon), but it got kinda late so we ended up eating crackers and elves bread (from Lord of the Rings) which Christa made. Then we finished dressing up and went to the HalloWeen party. When we arrived people were already dancing. And con-goers truly have the most amazing costumes!!!! Seriously, some of them really frightened me and others were so damn cute.
The thing that really bugged me though, was that as soon as Alexis came in the room people flew to him like moths to a flame... They started asking for pictures and honestly: That's simply not done! That's what the photographs are for and guests should be left alone to enjoy the party for themselves. That's my oppinion anyway. Alexis turned them down for pictures and went on his way to ride the mechanical spider (you know what I mean!), but once again: Moths. So he simply watched. My friends and I got kind of annoyed by it so we chose the dancefloor, which was relatively empty by this point. We were having a lot of fun and even Alexis walked around a bit on the dancefloor. We were just having a good time, when suddenly someone from Showmasters (or was it Massive Events?) came up to us and asked if we would like to take a picture of us enjoying the party WITH ALEXIS!!! KARMA BABY!!! We didn't have to bother him for a picture or to ask and try to make him dance with us, it simply came to us. This was such a great moment for us, because the picture turned out great! Of course we didn't know what it was for, so I went to find the lady/girl who took it and asked her if we could get it too. As it turned out: it was for their twitter. So everyone could see us partying with Alexis. GAAAAAAAAAH.
After having bothered Alexis three times now to ask if he would dance for us (he tweeted that he would if HalloWhedon was sold out), Alexis came through! His dance! OMG... there are no words. It's awesome and amazing and definitly qualifies as an EPIC MOMENT.
I think that every one of the guests actually showed up for the party, which was kinda epic as well. Brad had the coolest costume and Sarah even wore vamp teeth! It was all very awesome. We partied till we couldn't party no more - well, some of us anyway - and then we went to bed, glad to have that one hour extra when the clocks get reset.

LESSON LEARNED: Going to bed before the party ends, is never a good thing at HalloWhedon. This was proven by my friends when they finally got Brad Bell to play Pop-Up Pirate IN JOEY'S ROOM after the party had ended. And I missed it!!! Stupid, stupid me!!! (just fyi: the Pop-Up Pirate thing, was also a twitter thing between us scoobs).

(Our party pic with Alexis!!!! *swoon* EEEEEP)

The Perfect Day
The Sunday we met up again for breakfast after which we had to get the remaining autographs and photographs. I bought a photograph extra with Brad Bell, because I still had mine from the Saturday and I completely fell in love with this guy over the weekend. He's just too cute! This was soon done and then we had some time to kill. We had a chance to talk to our friends and hang a bit, go to the dealers room and buy some extra stuff if we liked (I already bought my ticket for HalloWhedon 6 ;-) ).
On Saturday Brad and Jane also gave writing workshops. But there were so many write ins, that it was pretty tough to get in. Instead of just one writing workshop (which they had done on Saturday), they organized one extra on Sunday. One at noon and one around four o clock. I immediatly signed up for both and then I had to wait until half an hour before the workshop to check if I got in. In the mean time we went to the guest talks and had a blast. Everyone always comes up with the funniest questions and the guests tell us the most amusing stories.

 
(Me and Jane acting out Coulson's death :'( )

 
One of my favorite things on the Sunday is also the Game Show. Four guests - devided in two teams - will test their Whedoknowledge and every year one person from the audience is chosen for each team. Usually I sit a little bit more in the back or I simply raise my hand to late, but this year I was really enthousiastic. LOL. AND I GOT PICKED!!! I was on Tom's and Jane's team "We are as Gods" against our worthy opponents Jeff, Sarah and David (from the audience) "ESP's". Though my mind totally blacked out and I couldn't remember some of the easier questions (the Shanshu prophecy for example), we did pretty awesome! I guess I was a little bit nervous and star struck, haha. My favorite round was definitely playing out some scènes - I even tried my best to get the characters right. When I think back I still get a huge smile on my face! And WE WON!!! I totally didn't expect it, because I felt we had some wrong answers, but we did. And I think we can be pretty proud as well, because we set a new record!!! 51 points :D  (usually the winning team has about 39 points). I even got a little gift bag, which was filled with amazing stuff.

(Tom being Anya and me being Andrew from Storytellers)

I almost forgot to mention that I got a hug from both Jane and Tom while on stage and Sarah congratulated me on the win. It was some pretty epic shit. For me anyway. I totally felt like a rockstar. Especially when the quiz master asked my name and said 'Amy' instead of 'Immy'... the whole crowd - and by that I mean ALL THE WONDERFUL AND AMAZING FRIENDS I MADE OVER THE YEARS - shouted my name "it's Immy with an 'I'" !!!! OMG!!! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH, I EVEN GOT A LITTLE TEARY EYED AT THAT MOMENT. It means so much to me and it was a once in a lifetime moment... Once again: I LOVE YOU ALL, YOU ARE THE BEST!!! <3

(We are as Gods vs. The ESP's)

Because I was so high on what just happened I totally forgot to check if I got in the final workshop and I DID!! My day literally couldn't get any better. So I raced to get my bag and ran to the room for the workshop and spend an hour picking Jane's and Brads brain about writing. It was so interesting, fun, inspirational and informative. I'm really glad I got to have that chance.

After the workshop there was only one thing left: the final talk with all of the guests (once Jeff did his laps around the room so he could join the rest on stage) and I love it when they are all just spitballing of of each other (or however you say it). It's so much fun to see them exchanging thoughts and experiences and being able to compare their worst job experiences and stuff. It was the best time. Immediatly after - while they were still on stage - the closing ceremony followed. Me and a couple of friends decided to have our 'last meal' together in the lobby and we had a perfect chilled out dinner.
Even though HalloWhedon 5 was officially at an end, they arranged a showing of Once More With Feeling - which, yes, made everybody burst into song - and the pilot of Jeff's new movie, where he plays a Dutch officer!!!! The sad part was that during the sunday the group started to get smaller and smaller because people were already leaving. Some of us partied on till the end of the night and even then we didn't want to face reality so we hang out in the bar some more... But it had to end sometime, so we eventually went to bed and promised each other we would see each other at breakfast or at least say goodbye before we left.

(The final talk, with Tom, Sarah, Brad, Jane, Jeff and Alexis)

Going back home
On monday we decided to have breakfast at nine, because there was supposed to be a fire drill at 8.30h. This would function as a wake up call for most. By that time, my roommate left and I went to breakfast. Everybody felt the goodbyes weighing heavy on them and was a bit groggy, but we had a delicious breakfast. But then the fire alarm went of again!! So we were all escorted outside. This turned out to be a good thing for us because we got to say goodbye to the Captain and his fiancé, although it was messed up for them. After about 15 minutes I think we were allowed to finish our breakfast and we said our goodbyes and went upstairs to pack our stuff.
I already did most of my packing and decided to check out and wait in the lobby. Once there, a couple of Whedonites were talking to Jeff who was still hanging around. I ran into Joey and we chatted for a bit. When Jeff passed us to go upstairs, he stopped when he saw me, gave me a hug and congratulated me on the win from the Game Show. We chatted a bit and it was just awesome to have a little time like that. The lobby started to fill up with our group again and we said our goodbyes - again. It was kinda sad, but luckily we can all stay in touch and most of us promised we would be there again next year. Back in LONDON, BABY!

(Survivers photo, of all the Whedonites that stayed till the bitter end of the party)

Our flight went great and it was only at Schiphol that hardly any trains went... It took a lot of waiting, a lot of time, and a lot of rain and wind, but eventually I arrived home. Still high on all the memories and experiences of HalloWhedon and all the hugs that we shared. It's always so amazing how much all the guests can surprise you. They are truly the nicest, sweetest and most amazing people to meet and they are such a joy to be around!
Next year will be even better, because it will actually be ON HALLOWEEN!!! And I cannot wait for it to happen... So: Let the count down begin ;-). 

(Every year our group of friends grows :D )

p.s. I probably forgot to mention a lot of stuff as well, but I think most of it is in here. If you wanna read my blog from last year, take a look here. I also wanna mention how much I missed Danni and Thomas, my dear friends who I met at my very first con. You better be there again next year!

The awesomeness of quotes pt 9

Last month I didn't have time for the monthly quotes page, but here it finally is!
Of course sitcoms are all about the jokes and the funny. So until now I haven't used them in my awesomeness of quotes series. But some sitcoms are just too funny not to deserve a place in this list. This blog centers on the sitcom How I Met Your Mother. Because the show is already in its eighth season, I won't be using quotes from every single episode. I'll just give you a list of a couple of good ones I like ;-).

Season 1

Of course I have to start with:
1x01 - Pilot
Future Ted: "Kids, I'm going to tell you an incredible story, the story of how I met your mother."
Ted's Son: "Are we being punished or something?"
Future Ted: "No."
Ted's Daughter: "Dad, is this gonna take a while?"
Future Ted: "Yes. Twenty-five years ago, before I was Dad, I had this whole other life…"

1x02 - Purple Giraffe
Lily: "Hey. I'm just sitting here. Wearing my ring. My beautiful ring. Kinda makes wearing other stuff seem wrong. Like... my shirt. Kinda don't wanna wear my shirt anymore. Or my underwear. Oh, that's right, I'm not wearing any."
Marshall [stops working and looks at Lily]: " No underwear?"
Lily: "Not even slightly."
(Camera pans to show Ted is in the room)
Ted: "Guys... BOUNDARIES!"

1x12 - The Wedding 
Marshall and Lily argue about their plans for an ideal wedding
Marshall: "Ok, I'm just saying that it's my wedding too and I should have a say in it."
Lily: "But I'm the bride. So, I win."
Marshall: "But I thought marriage is about two equal partners, sharing a life together."
Lily: "Right, but I'm the bride. So, I win."

1x18 - Nothing Good Happens After 2 AM.
Sandy Rivers: "We should have sex."
Robin: "What?"
Rivers: "Why not? We’re both available, we’re both attractive, we’re both good at it. At least I’m good at it, and even if you’re not, don’t worry. I’ll have a good time either way."
Robin: "Well, moving past the horrifying image of your hair helmet clanging against the headboard, I don’t get involved with people I work with."
Rivers: "Get involved? Who said get involved? I'm just saying we should have sex. Having sex is fun! (he gives her his card and their news show starts) Phone number, call me anytime. (starts reads teleprompter) A lot of teams in action tonight..."

1x22 - Come On
Ted and Barney are in a library trying to recruit Barney's friend Penelope for a rain dance
Penelope: "Why the hell should I help you?"
Barney: "Come on, I know it didn't work out between us, but we did have a relationship."
Penelope: "We had sex in your car twice and then you dumped me. How is that a relationship?"
Barney: "Twice!"
Penelope (loudly): "Barney, there is no way I'm-" (student shushes her)
Barney: "Seriously, come on."
Ted: "Penelope, I really need to make it rain this weekend."
Penelope: "Why?"
Ted: "There's this girl-"
Penelope: "Oh, there's this girl! You know the traditional rain dance is a sacred prayer to nature. I don't think the great spirit looks too kindly on white dudes who co-opt it to get laid."
Ted: "But this is the girl I love! If it doesn't rain this weekend, she's gonna end up with the wrong guy!"
Penelope: "This wrong guy. Is he a huge jackass?"
Ted: "Absolutely."
Penelope: "Kinda like Barney?"
Ted: "Kinda."
Barney: "Hey!"
Penelope: "You hit on my mom!"
Barney: "We weren't exclusive!"
Penelope (to Ted): "I'm in."

Season 2
2x02 - The Scorpion and the Toad 
Ted: "Five bucks says she still wants Marshall."
Robin: "You're on."
Ted: "Five American bucks."
Robin: "Damn it!"

2x05 - World's Greatest Couple 
Lily: "Why would I want to change anything? This place is great, except you don't have a TV."
Barney: "See that wall? (turns on TV) 300 inch flatscreen! They only sell them in Japan but I know a guy. They ship it over in a tugboat like freakin' King Kong!"
Lily: "It hurts my eyes..."
Barney: "Yeah, that doesn't go away."

2x15 - Lucky Penny
Barney (talking with Lily about waiting in line for the wedding-dress sale): "I can’t go, I’ve got this thing…"
Lily: "What thing?"
Barney: "...a penis."

2x20 - Showdown
Robin (Lily walks out, wearing her wedding dress): "Wow, Lily, you look so beautiful!"
Lily: "I know, I'm beautiful! I'm a fairy princess! (She lifts her arms up and the dress falls down) I'm too skinny for my dress!!"

2x21 - Something Borrowed 
Ted: "Dude, you shaved your fricking head!"
Marshall: "Yeah! Yeah, but it's good. I'll just shave it all off. What a great solution! Just be bald, 'cos it's cool, right? Bruce Willis, Michael Jordan, Britney Spea- (looks in mirror) Oh, God, what did I do!? How could you let me shave my head!?"
Ted: "What!?"
Marshall: "You're the worst best man ever! I hate you!"

Marshall (after Lily sees his hair, she walks toward the gardner and asks him his hat and puts in on Marshalls hair, covering the bald area): "Hat! We thought of authentic Native American headdress before we thought of hat!" 

2x22 - Something Blue
Lily: "We should come up with a whole new last name."
Marshall: "Oh, that's easy; Lily and Marshall Skywalker."
Lily: "Lily and Marshall Hasselhoff."
Marshall: "Oh, got it. Lily and Marshall Awesome. Hey have you met the Awesomes? Lily, Marshall, their son Totally, and their daughter Freaking?"

Season 3
3x04 - Little Boys 
Robin: "What's my 'but'? You know, I'm really nice, but..."
Ted (voiceover): "But she's afraid of commitment."
Lily (voiceover): "But she's a gun nut."
Barney (voiceover): "But she's... Canadian."
Marshall (voiceover): B"ut she doesn't like Field of Dreams."
All: "I can't think of anything.

3x07 - Dowisetrepla
Marshall: "Ted, how many times have I told you to put the lid back on the peanut butter jar?! It's this inconsiderate, immature jackassery that makes me feel like I'm living in The Real World House! And not the early days when they all had jobs and social consciences, I'm talking about Hawaii, and after! I can't take it anymore! Ted, Lily and I are married now! It's time! We're getting our own place!"
Lily: "... Actually, I left the lid off, sorry, baby."

3x14 - The Bracket
Barney: "There are four kinds of women who go to the hardware store by themselves."
Robin: "Of course there are."
Barney: "Single, recently single, recently divorced, lesbian who will let me watch."
Lily: "You can not be more evil."
Barney: "Sorry five. Recently widowed."

3x19 - Everything Must Go
Abby: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Barney: "Yes.
Abby: "You're thinking about having sex with Ted?"

Season 4 
4x07 - Not A Father's Day 
Barney: "Marshall, great news - I'm not a father."
Marshall: "Congratulations, buddy."
Barney: "I know, this is the happiest moment of my life! Marshall, the way I feel about not having kids... I never knew I could love something this much. That's why, I'm creating a holiday. From now on, today will be known as 'Not A Father's Day'!"
Marshall: "Wow, you're creating a holiday."
Barney: "Why not? Everyone else gets a day - mothers, fathers, Bastille's...why can't there be a day for those who are single and like it that way?"
Marshall: "Now you just sound like a fat girl at Valentine's Day."

4x14 - The Possimpible 
(The gang checks out Robin's fan mail from Metro News 1)
Lily: "Wow. You had more fans than I thought."
Ted: "And only about 60% of them are prison inmates."
Robin: "What are these guys thinking? I am WAY past my "dating prisoners" phase. I mean, hello, I'm not 19 anymore."

4x16 - Sorry, Bro
Ted: "I never said I was gonna get back together with her. But I was thinking, she's new in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave her a call?"
Marshall: "No, no, Ted, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing. Number one, super volcano. Number two, an asteroid hits the earth. Number three, all footage of Evil Knievel is lost. Number four, Ted calls Karen. Number five, Lily gets eaten by a shark."
Lily: "I'm Lily and I approve the order of that list."

4x18 - Old King Clancy
Marshall: "If I could nail a celebrity it would be Lily. She's the star of my heart."
Lily: "Aww. For me it would be Hugh Jackman."

Season 5
5x06 - Bagpipes
Future Ted: "In the fall of 2009, a new couple moved in upstairs. We haven't met them yet, but we could hear them - all the time. Well they were always - well, let's just say, playing the bagpipes." (Current Ted is caught by surprise and Robin appears)
Robin: "Okay, this is ridiculous, I can't believe those two are still bagpiping."
Ted: "I know, it's been six hours. Must be that tantric bagpiping that Sting's into."
Robin: "She's keeping on saying to play the bagpipes harder, but it sounds like he's bagpiping her pretty hard. There's a glass of water in my bedroom that's vibrating like Jurassic Park."
Ted (to neighbors): "You have neighbors. Shut the bagpipes up!"

5x07 - The Rough Patch 
Lily: "So, what did you guys do last last night?"
Robin: "Well, I wanted to go a party and he wanted to go dancing, but we couldn't both do something only one of us wanted to do, so we just stayed home and fell asleep watching a movie."
Barney: "It was legen—wait for it—ds of the Fall! Legends of the Fall! (shrugs) It was OK."

5x15 - Rabbit or Duck
Marshall: "You want us to arrange your marriage?"
Ted: "Absolutely! Look, there are two sides to dating - picking and getting picked. Getting picked I'm good at. Ladies love Teddy Westside."
Marshall: "You're waiting for me to comment on your 'self-assigned nickname.' (Pause) Well here's my comment: I LOVE IT!"
Ted: "Really?"
Marshall: "Teddy Westside? Continue!"
Ted: "It’s the picking I suck at, I pick the wrong girls! But you guys are the best pickers I know. You picked each other!"

Season 6

6x01 - Big Days 
Lily is caught by surprise that Marshall's parents will be staying with them during their baby's first three months
Lily: "You know what, Marshall, why don't you have a baby with your Dad?" 
Marshall: "Oh okay, Lily. Why don't you have a baby with your butt?" 
Lily: "What?" 
Marshall: "AAARGH! [stands up] I can't think straight! Why do you have to wear that shirt? [referring to Lily's shirt showing much cleavage] This is NOT HOW I THOUGHT THIS NIGHT WAS GOING TO GO!" 

6x06 - Baby Talk
Robin: "Hey."
Barney: "Hey!"
Robin: "Hey. Uhm, when we were dating, did - did I make you feel needed?"
Barney: "No, I didn't feel like you needed me at all."
Robin [sighs]: "That's what I thought. Uh, I'm sorry." [turns to leave] 
Barney: "Wait, where are you g- that's a compliment! You're the least needy woman I've ever met. That's awesome! No guy's gonna say "Who's your daddy?" to Robin Scherbatsky; you're your own daddy. And mommy. And weird survivalist uncle who lives in a cabin with a shotgun blaming stuff on the government. And that is what makes you the most amazing, strong, independent woman I've ever banged."

6x10 - Blitzgiving 
Ted: "Lily, do you have any idea how many people I blindly hated for you?! I hated Renée Zellweger with a burning passion for eight years only to discover you meant Reese Witherspoon!"
Lily: "Hey! I will hate her until I will get my money back for You, Me and Dupree!"
Ted: "THAT'S KATE HUDSON!"
Lily: "Oh yeah…That's who I hate. [to the others] Guys, we hate Kate Hudson." 

6x13 - Bad News
[Robin is introduced to World Wide News' anchor, who is very familiar] 
WWN Employee: "Robin, this is - "
Sandy Rivers: "Robin!"
WWN Employee: "You two know each other?"
Rivers: "Know each other? We've had sex!" [employees are aghast] 

6x21 - Hopeless
[The gang is at MacLaren's Bar with Jerry trying to figure out which club to go to] 
Barney: "Let's see, what club should we hit first? There's Club Was, there's Wrong…"
Marshall: "Uhm, those places shut down a long time ago."
Barney: "Oh no."
Marshall: "Oh No shut down too."
Ted: "There's Where."
Jerry: "Where's Where?"
Lily: "Where's where Was was, isn't it?"
Barney: "No, Was wasn't where Where was. Was was where Wrong was, right?"
Jerry: "Okay…"
Ted: "Not Okay. That place is lame."
Robin: "Okay is Lame? I thought Lame was a gay bar. Or is that Wrong?"
Marshall: "That's wrong. That's Not Wrong."
Barney: "Guys, focus."
Robin: "Oh, I like Focus, let's go there."
Ted: "Where?"
Robin: "Not Where, Focus."
Lily: "I thought Focus was closed."
Barney: "No, Was was Closed. Once Was shut down, it reopened as Closed."
Marshall: "So Closed is open."
Robin: "No, Closed is closed."
Jerry: "I don't know. Third base, right?!"
Robin: "Ew, Third Base is all frat guys."
Lily: "I'll go any place, okay?"
Ted: "Not Okay. Okay is lame."
Robin: "Okay is not Lame. Lame is a gay bar."
Lily: "Guys, shut up."
Barney: "No, Shut Up shut down. I can't believe I don't know the clubs anymore."
Marshall: "Guys, just pick a club, okay?"
Ted: "Not Okay!"
All: "Okay is Lame! Gay bar!"
Marshall: "For the record, uhm, I was in there once by accident. I'm pretty sure it's pronounced Lamé."
Barney: "It's Hopeless, isn't it?"
[cut to the group at a club called Hopeless]
 

Season 7
7x03 - Duck Tie
Ted: "Oh, guess who I ran into (at the Architect's Ball). A girl from my past. Any guesses?"
Lily: "Stella."
Barney: "Zoey."
Marshall: "Karen?"
Lily: "The girl who beat you up."
Barney: "The girl who ruined a photo with Slash!"
Marshall: "The girl who made you get the butterfly tattoo?"
Ted: "You make it sound like I dated a series of Stieg Larsson novels."

7x07 - Noretta
[Marshall and Lily freak out because the other acts like their own fathers] 
Lily: "AHHHH, I can't go through with this!"
Marshall: "Thank God, me neither."
Lily: "You're too much like my dad."
Marshall: You're too much like my dad!"
Lily: "Your dad??" 

7x09 - Disaster Averted
Barney has offered Marshall another slap so he can take off his ducky tie
Lily: "Don't let him tempt you, baby."
Marshall: "I don't know baby, we have a baby on the way, an extra slap would come in handy."

7x15 - The Burning Beekeeper
Ted and Robin talk about his confrontational skills 
Robin: "I disagree. It's like Sun Tzu said, 'Never give up. Never surrender'."
Ted: "That's Tim Allen from Galaxy Quest."

7x19 - The Broath 
Barney: "And now to seal this sacred vow, the two ladies will kiss."
Robin: "Barney!"
Barney: "The two ladies will kiss!"
(Robin and Lily kiss and Robin tries to pull away, but Lily keeps kissing her)
Robin: "Uh, Lily."
Lily: "Sorry." 
Barney: "And now the gentlemen..."
Ted: "DUDE!"
Barney: "And now the gentlemen! (Marshall and Ted kiss) I was going to say 'And now the gentlemen bump fists.' How long you been holding back that one?"

7x23/24 - The Magicians Code 
(Marshall finally appears in Lily's room as baby is about to be delivered) 
Marshall: "In return for him getting me here, I may have promised Barney that our son's middle name will be - wait for it -" 
Lily: "I can't wait. What is the name?"
Marshall: "The name is Wait For It."
Lily (screams while pushing): "AAGHH....THAT IS THE COOLEST MIDDLE NAME OF ALL TIME!!!"

Season 8 (until episode 8x17) 
8x03 - Nannies




[Barney is ready to get back on the market at MacLaren's] 
Barney: "Welcome to Bangtoberfest! Have a Bangtoberfest T-shirt, (shoots T-shirt roll at Ted) I'm back! Have a Bangtoberfest T-shirt, I'm single again! (continues shooting rolls; one hits woman) Sorry about your eye, I'm available!" 
Ted (reads shirt message): "Bangtoberfest. This time it's really not personal."
Robin: "Barney, you went through some really emotional stuff. You need to give yourself some time to heal."
Barney: "Robin I spent seven grand on merch. This is happening (puts cap on Robin's head).

8x05 - The Autumn of Breakups
[Barney chances upon Robin and Nick at the bar] 
Barney: "Guys, I got a new bro. A bro that puts all other bros to shame. The bitches love him. Haa!! He buries bones all day. Whooops!!! No one chases tail like him. Oooow!! Why aren't you guys laughing? Oh I should have let you on this - he's a dog! (points to bar, where a number of women adore a dog) I call him... 'Brover'. I'll go - owww! - fetch him."

8x08 - Twelve Horny Women
[in claiming that she was a bad-ass, Lily recounts how she met Scooter during a stroll] 
Lily (sees Scooter): "You look okay. Wanna hang out?"
Scooter: "My mom says I can only have three friends, so -"
Lily: "Mom don't make the rules no more, Scooter."
Scooter: "My name is Geoff."
Lily: "Not anymore it ain't (crushes Scooter's drink can)."

8x17 - The Ashtray
Ted asks Barney why he always inserts himself into any historical situations 
Barney: "Because crazy stories are my thing. You have architecture, Marshall has the law, Lily has art, Robin has pleasing me sexually, you all have a passion that drives you! Well, I have a passion, it's taking life and turning it into a series of crazy stories. If you can do that without me, then I don't even know who I am anymore."

Season 9...(2013-2014)

(found these two and I couldn't resist)