The awesomeness of quotes pt 6

One of my favorite shows in high school was Charmed. The first episode I ever came across was All Hell Break's Loose, which is a whirlwind of emotions. For some reason this episode made me want to watch show. A show about three sisters who happend to be witches - that lasted for eight years. Of course, I have two sisters so I can relate - mostly to Piper, as I'm the middle sisters. It's what I love about the show and about their quotes, you can always hear and sense in the way they communicate that they are sisters. It's very familiar. The sisterly fights (not the actual ass-kicking), but also the way they can talk to each other and help each other out. Here are - a lot of - quotes to give a sense of the show ;-).

Season 1

1x01 - Something Wicca this Way Comes
Phoebe: "According to the Book Of Shadows, one of our ancestors was a witch, named Melinda Warren."
Piper: "And we have a cousin who's a drunk, an aunt who's manic, and a father who's invisible."

1x02 - I've Got You Under My Skin 
Piper: "Don't put me in the middle."
Prue: "I'm not. You were born in the middle."

1x04 - Dead Man Dating
Piper: "Leave it to me to fall for a dead guy."
Phoebe: "It's an improvement. At least he wasn't a warlock."

1x05 - Dream Sorcerer
Hans: "Morning."
Prue: "Uh, excuse me but who are you?"
Piper: "Who cares?"
Phoebe: "Hans, I found your t... shirt."

1x06 - The Wedding From Hell
Phoebe: "Ok, I can't hold it any longer. Your name isn't Piper, and that's the good news. You're really Hecate, Queen of the Underworld, you're pregnant with a demon child, which means...I'm afraid I have to kill you."
Piper: "What?!"
  
Prue: "Phoebe, what is it that you saw exactly?"
Phoebe: "Well, I-I saw the thing being born."
Prue: "Did you see Piper?"
Phoebe: "Yes, I saw her legs."
Prue: "Never saw her face?"
Phoebe: "No."
Piper: "Hello, bickering sisters. I'm not pregnant but I am in the room."

1x07 - The Fourth Sister
Phoebe: "Okay, Piper tell me the truth. Am I a boyfriend thief?"
Piper: "Totally."
Phoebe: "Besides Roger. Whom, by the way, Prue, I never touched."
Piper: "My boyfriend, Billy Wilson."
Phoebe: (chuckles) "Bill-- Will-- Eighth grade Billy Wilson?"
Piper: "You kissed him at homecoming."
Phoebe: "I did not kiss him at homecoming."
Piper: "Oh, please. You were all over him, with your breasts all...whatever."
Phoebe: "I didn't even have breasts back then."
Piper: "Phoebe, you've always had breasts."

Piper: "So you know... it's not like either one of us has a problem finding guys..."
Phoebe: "Please."
Piper: "So if one of us got Leo, it'd be ok with the other one."
Phoebe: "Absolutely."
Piper: "So we can just consider this a friendly competition."
Phoebe: "Sibling rivalry."
Piper: "War."
Phoebe: "Exactly!"

1x08 - The Truth is Out There... And it Hurts
Piper: "Leo, how do you feel about women who make the first move?"
Leo: "I don't know, I'm still waiting for it to happen."
Piper: "Good news."  (Piper kisses Leo) 
Leo: "How do you feel about guys who make the second move?"
Piper: "Love 'em!"

1x10 - Wicca Envy
Phoebe: "Problems?"
Prue: "What problems?"
Piper: "Well, it's been a while since, you know, I-I was a little nervous, and I kinda kept freezing him."
Prue: "Piper, you didn't?"
Piper: "I didn't mean to...the first time."
Phoebe: "Oh!"

1x12 - The Wendigo 
Phoebe: "We can't find anything about revearsing the Wendigo thing."
Prue: "Well, there's got to be something. Oh, didn't you check this at the bottom of the page? 'c.f. Desiderata.'"
Phoebe: "Yeah, like we're supposed to know what that means."
Prue: "Well, it means 'conferred desiderata.' It's Latin for 'look up things that are yearned for.'" 
Piper: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're so very smart."

1x15 - Is There A Woogy in the House?
Piper: "You're the only Halliwell that actually likes earthquakes."
Prue: "I don't like them, but I don't go running through the house naked screaming 'run for your life' either."
Phoebe: "Okay. That is such an exaggeration. I was wearing slippers."

1x16 - Which Prue is it Anyway?
Piper: "This is ridiculous. This is like, this is like The Parent Trap with a B cup."

1x17 - That 70's Episode
Piper: "I’m supposed to throw out perfectly good flowers just because they came from a creep? If that was the rule, we would never have flowers."

1x18 -  When Bad Warlocks Turn Good
Prue: "Hey, um, you can sleep in my room and I'll sleep with Piper."
Brendan: "Why?"
Prue: "Because Phoebe kicks."

1x20 - The Power of Two
Prue: "I hate cemeteries at night."
Phoebe: "I hate cemeteries at day."
(they hear a noise) 
Phoebe: "What was that?"
Prue: "Probably a zombie or a vampire."
Phoebe: "Great, where's Buffy when you need her?"

1x22 - Déja Vu All Over Again 
Prue: "What time is it?"
Piper: "Just before six. That's a little too anxious, that's not a good sign."
Phoebe: "Which means if he doesn't want to kill Prue, he wants to date her."

Season 2

2x01 - Witch Trial 
Phoebe: "What have we got to lose, okay?"
Piper: "Well, apparently we've got our clothes to lose."
Phoebe: "I see that."
Piper: "No. Whoa, whoa. Wait. What are you doing?"
Phoebe: "When in Rome..."
Piper: "No! No! No! We're not in Rome, Phoebe. We're in California and it's illegal here!"

2x03 - The Painted World 
Piper: "What?"
Prue: "We were talking?"
Piper: "I know. About a man in a painting. Listen to this one. 'Hallway near club entrance too narrow'?"
Prue: "I thought that we had discussed your code violations."
Piper: "Well, I keep finding more. The plumbing, the electrical, the heating, it...none of it is up code."
Prue: "Stop. You’re obsessing."
Piper: "Well, it runs in the family."
Prue: "I don't obsess. I think... intensely... anyway, I can't really help it. I mean, we've seen so many bizarre things, why not a man in a painting."

2x04 - She's a Man, Baby, a Man!
Phoebe: "Oh yeah, nice body, great tan."
Prue: "Awesome truck."
Phoebe: "You know, I think you really are becoming a man."

2x10 - Heartbreak City
Prue: "So we're actually supposed to believe that you're Cupid?"
Cupid: "You believe in warlocks and demons but you can't believe in me?"
Piper: "Where's the chubby baby?"
Phoebe: "Guys."
Prue: "And the bow and arrow?"
Cupid: "Where's the warty chins, hooked noses and pointy hats?"
  
Piper: "You're still gonna have to back up the Cupid claim."
Cupid: "Okay, fine. (he points to Piper) Dan, (points to Prue) Jack, (points to Phoebe) Clay (points to Prue) Andy. My sincerest condolences. Eric in London, Alec in college, (points to Piper) Not Jeremy the warlock, Joe in college, Barry in high school, Tim in eighth grade, (points to Phoebe) Ken, Kyle, Steve, Mike, Ken again, Brian, Joel, (Prue and Piper look at Phoebe surprised) Martin, Peter, Paul, Tony."

2x11 - Reckless Abandon
Piper: "I don't need a test run. I remember when Phoebe was a baby, and it was hard on Mom, and endless, and with you dropping her all the time!"
Phoebe: "What?!"
Prue: "Oh, moving on!"

2x15 - Give Me a Sign
Prue: "What are you guys doing here?"
Phoebe: "We are rescuing you! From the tall, dark and NAKED man!!!!"
Prue: "I told you to stay away."
Phoebe: "Yeah, now I know why. He is yummy."

Piper: "I don’t believe this! We’ve been frantic, worried sick about you thinking you’ve been kidnapped..."
Prue: "Yeah, I was..."
Piper: (points to the side of the bed) "Panties."
Prue: "Oh, oh! (She rushes to the bedside and picks them up.) Huh, thanks. Look, uh, you guys have really got this all uh—(looks at her underwear in her hand) wrong."
Piper: "Yeah, we know. It’s a trap."
Phoebe: "A tall, dark, and naked trap."

2x18 - Chick Flick 
Phoebe: "Hello, privacy!"
Prue: "Hello, ax-murderer!"
  
Piper: "I'm being stalked by psycho killers and I hide in the shower?!?!?"

Billy: "It's okay. The man is here to save the day."
Prue: "Billy, it's the 21st century. It's the woman's job to save the day."

2x20 - Astral Monkey
Leo: "Ever done it on a cloud?"
Phoebe: "Does a featherbed count?"

2x22 - Be Careful What You Wish For
Genie: "You're probably a little upset right?"
Piper: "No, I've moved past upset and right to pissed off."

Season 3

3x01 - The Honeymoon's Over 
Prue: "Okay any mass vanquishing spells?"
Phoebe: "You're the one who's been studying the book."
Prue: "Why are you picking on me?"
Phoebe: "Because I'm scared and we're outnumbered."

Piper: "So, why did you do that to your hair?" 
Phoebe: "To change my luck."

Phoebe: "Okay, what was that all about? I didn’t even get to bitch at her."

3x02 - Magic Hour
Grams: "You need guidance, some advice on a certain sister situation. Am I getting warm?"
Phoebe: "Red hot. But wait a minute, if you know, that means that they know, and if they know then we are f..."
Grams: "Fine."

Cole: "You better be careful or a guy might think he's been followed." (Phoebe laughs) 
Piper: "You better be careful or a girl might think her sister's getting a really cheesy pick up line."

3x03 - Once Upon a Time
Piper: "Why are you being so stubborn about this?"
Phoebe: "Because I'm a Scorpio, what's your excuse?"
Prue: "Okay. So, it's kinda late, and, ummm, we're all a little bit tired so how about we finish this up tomorrow?"
Phoebe: "Now look what you did, you went and turned Prue into the middle child."

3x04 - All Halliwell's Eve
Phoebe: "This costume happens to be a protest statement."
Prue: "I am so impressed that you can make a protest statement and show cleavage all at the same time."
Phoebe: "Thanks."

3x08 - Sleuthing with the Enemy
Krell: "Just the thought of working with you two turns my stomachs."
Piper: "Stomachs?"

3x09 - Coyote Piper
Prue: "Come on, why do you even care what those people think?"
Piper: "Only a former cheerleader could ask that question."

Prue: "Oh my god.. and she's been acting really.. and she left without saying.. and and the bottle, she wanted to destroy it."
Phoebe: "I'm trying to jump on your thought train but you're moving a little too fast for me here."

3x10 - We All Scream For Ice-cream
Prue: "Alright, well, nothing usually means something, and something usually means a boy, so..."

Leo: "Why don't we try focusing on the positive? They're together."
Piper: "That's it, that's your positive?! Cos I've got a list a mile long in the negative column."

Leo: "Piper, any minute they are going to walk through that door with a perfectly good explanation."
Prue: "Piper!"
Leo: "See."

Phoebe: "We thought the good guys were bad guys, and in trying to vanquish them, we helped the real bad guys, which were dead ringers for good guys."
Leo: "Was that English?"

3x11 - Blinded By the Whitelighter
Piper: "We went, we saw, we didn't quite conquer."
  
Natalie: "You must prepare yourselves for battle. Mentally, physically, spiritually, sartorially..." (Piper scoffs) 
Phoebe: "I'm sorry, what?"
Piper: "She doesn't like our clothes."
Natalie: "You need clothes that are loose and move. That means no more braless, strapless... fearless attire."
Prue: "Okay, then I have nothing to wear."

3x12 - Wrestling with Demons
Phoebe: "Piper also babbles when she's nervous."
Piper: "I resent that. I am expressing a valid concern about this continuing issue in our lives."
Prue: "What are you babbling about?" (Phoebe laughs) 
Piper: "You know, if I could freeze the two of you, I would. Often."

3x14 - The Good, the Bad and the Cursed
Phoebe: "Dad doesn't know that Leo is a whitelighter."
Prue & Leo: "What?!"
Piper: "Well, I've been meaning to tell him, but considering Mom had an affair with her whitelighter, I didn't think he'd be really receptive to the idea."
Leo: "Piper, he's gonna kill me when he finds out."
Piper: "Oh, don't be ridiculous, you're already dead."

3x15 - Just Harried
Victor: "Patty."
Patty: "Hello, Victor, how are you?"
Victor: "Good. I mean, I was good. Alright, who brought my ex-wife back from the dead?"
Grams: "Not now, Victor. I know you two have issues but that's what the reception is for."

3x16 - Death Takes a Halliwell 
Prue: "I'm sorry if I've been a little cranky."
Phoebe: "Say no more. Princess Prue has spoken, by the orders of the queen - that's me! - Phoebeville and all of it's glory will be abandoned for greener pastures, and two lattes."
Prue: "Oh, all hail the queen!"
Phoebe: "Yay, I love to be hailed!"

3x17 - Pre-Witched 
Piper: "You know, I don't wanna be one of those old married lepers that nobody thinks if fun anymore."
Prue: "You've never been fun, Piper."
Piper: "I've always been fun, Prue. I am just Mrs. Fun now."

Shadow: "Wait a minute, do you think I am an idiot? You have something up your sleeve."
Phoebe: "Hello, sleeveless!"

3x18 - Sin Francisco 
Phoebe: "Wait a minute, are you telling me you're actually looking for trouble now? Prue, what happened to putting more balance in your life? You know, less wicca wonder, more Prue."
Prue: "Listen, I shot a magazine cover yesterday, I had a date last night and this morning I'm searching for evil. You can't get more balanced than that."
Phoebe: "Right, just your typical everyday cosmo girl!"

Prue: "Yeah, well, my sin's not nearly as fun as yours."
Phoebe: "Wait, your sin, I thought you didn't get hit."
Prue: "Well, that was the pride talking and it almost got me killed already."
Phoebe: "Pride? You didn't seem all that different."
Prue: "Oh really, well back at ya." (Phoebe has been hit with lust)

3x19 - The Demon Who Came in From the Cold 
Cole: "Save it. You can't stop the brotherhood with a little research and your basic kick, freeze and magical move. No offence intended."
Piper: "Some taken."

Piper: "Wouldn't it be nice to save the world at a decent hour?"

Piper: "Well, since plan A is going so well, I'd love to hear about plan B...assuming that you have one."
Prue: "I've got part of it, in the freezer."
Piper: "In the freezer? Wait, we're gonna fight the brotherhood with Ben & Jerry's?"

3x20 - Exit Strategy 
Leo: "You're gonna forge my birth certificate?"
Piper: "No. Just going to change one little number. (She white outs the number) So, 1924 becomes 1974. And just like that, you are fifty years younger. (writes in the seven) Wait a minute, that makes you 27. That's younger than me. Maybe I should change another number."
Leo: "Piper, this is completely illegal."
Piper: "Yeah? Well, so is marrying a dead guy, okay? Let's not get technical now."
Prue: (walks into kitchen) "Morning. What's up?"
Leo: "Oh, probably three to five years in jail if we're lucky."

Piper: "Leo should have been back by now. It must mean my powers are screwed forever. They're punishing me."
Jenna: "You're a fulfillment of a great prophecy. Why punish you?"
Piper: "Oh, forgery. Wanting to have a normal life. Getting pissed off. By next week I'll be walking around like Carrie at the prom."

Piper: "Sorry about knocking you out. Nothing personal."
Prue: "Yeah, well, at least you didn't blow me up."
Piper: "Yeah, I was kinda relieved too."

3x21 - Look Who's Barking 
Phoebe: "Oh, she’s such a pretty dog."
Piper: "What else did you expect?"
Leo: "A Doberman?" (Prue growls and Leo jumps back)
Piper: "(to Prue) Easy! (to Leo) Honey, watch your orbs."

Leo: "Are you okay?"
Piper: "Am I okay? Prue is a dog, and Phoebe is a banshee. I am not even in the vicinity of 'okay'. How did this happen? What am I supposed to do? And, you know, you could have told me about the witches turn into banshees thing a little bit earlier."
Leo: "Honey, just try and relax."
Piper: "Would you stop telling me to relax! (blows up sewing machine) That was Grams's sewing machine...!"
Leo: "Well, we don't have time for you to lose it."
Piper: "Well, too bad, because I am losing it whether we have time for it or not."
Leo: "Listen to me, we have to save Phoebe before she hurts anyone. If she kills just one person, she will stay a banshee forever."
Piper: "Okay, could you give me all the bad news at once? Do you have to keep doling it out for dramatic effect?"
Leo: "We have to find Phoebe."
Piper: "How, without Prue to track her?"
Leo: "We'll find a way. You can do this, Piper."
Piper: "No, actually, I can't. See, 'cause Prue and Phoebe are the superwitches, and I just tag along and freeze things, and now I can't even do that right."

3x22 - All Hell Breaks Loose 
Prue: "Alright, this thing has to end now, okay? The media is turning it into a freakin' circus."
Leo: "Now you know why the Elders have always been highly concerned about exposure."
Piper: ": Okey-dokey, now we know."

Season 4

4x01 - Charmed Again, Part one
Patty: "It happened after your father and I were divorced, when Sam and I were together."
Cole: "Sam?"
Leo: "Her whitelighter."
Cole: "Hmm. Apples don't fall far from the forbidden tree, I see."
 
Grams: "Alright, fine, You've caught us, congratulations! So what are you going to do about us, shoot us?"
Phoebe: "Easy, Grams! Not all of us are dead, remember?"

Phoebe: "...We call the spirits to help undo and send him off to… Timbuktu! Woah, it worked!"
Piper: "Timbuktu? You sent him to Timbuktu?!"
Phoebe: "It was the only thing I could think of that rhymed with 'undo'."

Piper: "Yeah, I'm angry, um, I'm confused, and you know what, this, this is just crazy! You cannot float in here after all these years and go, 'Oh gosh, I forgot, by the way, you've got a sister!' Especially NOT today of all days!"

4x02 - Charmed Again, Part two 
Leo: "It's kind of hard to heal myself when I'm knocked out."
Phoebe: "Leo, how is possible for an angel to even get knocked out? I mean, you are, after all, technically dead."
Leo: "Three years together, and now you're asking these questions?"
Phoebe: "Well…"

Mr. Cowan: "This is none of your business. You're an assisstant, not a social worker."
Paige: "That's because you're too cheap to make me one."

4x03 - Hell Hath No Fury 
Cole: "She has no regard for her life, or anyone else's. She's Charles Bronson cubed."
Leo: "I said I'd talk to her."
Phoebe: "Guys, guys. Who is Charles Bronson? (Leo and Cole look at each other incredulously) Never mind."

4x04 - Enter the Demon
Piper: "Paige, don't be make me the wicked witch of the northwest. I didn't ask for this big sister gig and frankly it sucks. But since I'm on a roll, you should get rid of that lollipop habit because it's going to rot your teeth."

Leo: "Well, here comes your personal trainer from hell."
Piper: "Literally."

4x05 - Size Matters 
Phoebe: "It's not fair, you shouldn't carry the financial burden."
Piper: "I will worry about the source of our income, if you worry about the Source of all evil."

Phoebe: "Damn it! I am only going to say this once, the real world better start showing me some respect otherwise I'm going to stop saving it every week!"
Leo: "What happened?"
Phoebe: "I just had the worst job interview for a position that a monkey could fill, provided that the monkey could explain why it needed flexible work hours."

Piper: "Oh, he's way too big for my tiny magic."

4x06 - A Knight to Remember 
Piper: "So why is Sir Lust-a-Lot after you?"
Paige: "How should I know?"
Piper: "Well, because it's your damn fairy tale and it's alive and frozen in our kitchen."

4x07 - Brain Drain 
Phoebe: "You're changing the subject."
Piper: "No, I'm ignoring you."

Phoebe: "Generations of Halliwells have fought demons and had kids. It didn't stop them, why should it stop you?"
Piper: "Did it ever occur to you that maybe this is none of your business?"
Phoebe: "Oh, that's besides the point."

4x09 - Muse to My Ears 
Paige: "Who's going to kill us?"
Piper: "No one."
Paige: "That's new."

Piper: "I'm making this up as I go along, so power surge or no, you're going to have to be patient. Just like you're going to have to be patient on the marriage front."
Cole: "I don't think that's any of your business."
Leo: "You don't know sisters very well, do you?"

4x10 - A Paige From the Past 
Phoebe: "Am I the world's biggest bitch or what?"
Piper: "Nah, too easy."

Phoebe: "Uhm, If you'll put your nose any deeper into that coffee cup, you're gonna need a snorkel. What do you know?"

4x11 - Trial by Magic  
Piper: "I don't think you understand..."
Paige: "I understand that I also pay rent here!"
Piper: "There is no rent."
Paige: "It's an expression."
Piper: "No it's not!"
Paige: "Well it should be!"

4x12 - Lost and Bound  
Cole: "I'm getting more human by the day. What would you say if I became really human, and got a job?"
Phoebe: "If thats the criteria for being really human then I am in big trouble."

Leo: "Phoebe, are you feeling alright?"
Phoebe: "Peachy keen."

4x13 - Charmed and Dangerous 
Phoebe: "Oh honey, are you still on that Last Will and Testament kick? I gotta tell you, it's very very morbid."
Piper: "No, it's very very responsible. Prue did it, and thank God she did 'cause if she didn't we'd still be dealing with lawyers. No offense."
Cole: "Oh, none taken. I've come to terms with my evil past."

4x14 - The Three Face of Phoebe 
Paige: "I hate it when you're right."
Piper: "Really? See, I usually like it."

Paige: "I did the rhyme, I will do the time."

4x16 - The Fifth Halliwheel 
Phoebe: "How do you spell 'oblique'?"
Piper: "With spellcheck."

4x17 - Saving Private Leo 
Paige: "Yeah, but he's a ghost, who knows where he came from, what era. He's like a piece of manhunk history."

4x18 - Bite Me 
Piper: "Manticore?"
Phoebe: "Bites, but doesn't fly."
Piper: "Phoenix?"
Phoebe: "Flies, but doesn't bite."
Piper: "Chupacabra!"
Phoebe (laughs): "God bless you! Flies and bites, but only attacks livestock."

4x20 - Long Live the Queen 
Piper: "Paige could see that Cole clearly had turned evil, and she tried to tell me over and over and over and over and over... and over. That doesn't even sound like a word anymore."

4x21 - Womb Raider 
Darryl: "Where is this baby everybody keeps talking about? Is it an invisible baby? Am I gonna step on it?"

4x22 - Witch Way Now? 
Piper: "Okay, in case anyone is wondering, we are officially screwed."

Season 5

5x01 - A Witch's Tail, Part one 
Craig: "Who are you people?"
Paige: "Witch."
Leo: "Angel."
Phoebe: "Mermaid."
Paige: "Don't you mean Witch?"

5x03 - Happily Ever After 
Paige: "You want my advice?"
Piper: "Not really."

5x04 - Siren's Song 
(Leo burps and fizzy bubble floats out of his mouth.) 
Cole: "Whoa, what was that?"
Piper: "Hey, how did you do that?"
Leo: "I don't know but I'm feeling really nauseous."
Piper: "Oh, god, and I'm not. Wait, how, why... Why does he have my pregnancy symptoms?"
Cole: "Wait, w-wait, you're pregnant?"
Piper: "Well, I was. But, now I think Leo is."
Cole: "Huh?"

Leo: "Oh God, not the crying thing."
Piper: [tearfully] "Leo, I have growing powers inside of me, powers that I do not understand and the only person who does understand never has time to talk, add that to raging hormones and I guarantee you I am absolutely entitled to do the crying thing."

5x06 - The Eyes Have It 
Paige: "I'm just a big, dumb, fat unemployed loser."
Piper: "No, Paige, you're a big, fat, dumb, unemployed loser who saves the world."

Paige: "Uh gross, what are you guys watching? Is that some horror movie?"
Piper: "The Joys of Home Birthing. Strangely, I'm not feeling the joy."

5x08 - A Witch in Time 
Phoebe: "Okay, something really freaky happened last night when I was with Miles."
Piper: "You guys are already getting freaky?"

Piper: "Honey?"
Leo: "Yeah?"
Piper: "Zip it."

5x11 - The Importance of Being Phoebe 
Piper: "I say we go back in there and pull her out by her hair!"
Paige: "No, no, we can't make a scene. We need a plan."
Piper: "Ok, here it is. We go home...we vomit..."
Paige: "And?"
Piper: "That's all I got so far."

5x12 - Centennial Charmed 
Phoebe: "What about water birth, can we do that at home?"
Eva: "Yeah, we could rent a tub."
Piper: "What am I, a dolphin? I'm not giving birth to fish!"
Leo: "Well, actually dolphins aren't fish, they're mammals."
Piper: "Shut up!"

5x14 - Sand Francisco Dreamin' 
Paige: "Besides, everybody is odd in San Francisco. That's why we fit in so well."

5x15 - The Day the Magic Died 
Stanley: "My name will haunt you to your grave!"
Phoebe: "What was his name again?"
Paige: "I don't remember."

5x16 - Baby's First Demon 
Leo: "How'd it go with the new boss?"
Phoebe: "Oh, Jason Dean? I want to bear his children, but that's besides the point."

5x17 - Lucky Charmed 
Paige: "My sweater shrunk."
Piper: "Ah, come on, you've worn tighter things than that."

5x18 - Cat House 
Phoebe: "I was under a spell. Evil."
Paige: "Evil? You were blonde!"

Phoebe: "Wait a minute. You just said something."
Paige: "I did? Was it smart?"

5x21 - Necromancing the Stone 
Grams: "Now they'd be better off with a dog. More loyal and they die sooner."
Leo: "Excuse me?"
Grams: "Oh... (chuckles) Don't mind me. You know, I never have very much luck with men."
Leo: "But you've been married four times."
Grams: "Exactly."

5x22 - Oh My Goddess, Part one 
Phoebe: "You and Leo are back in the saddle?"
Piper: "So to speak..."
Phoebe: "Yay you! God I miss sex!"

5x23 - Oh My Goddess, Part two 
Paige: "Reason and judgement are the qualities of a leader. Tacitus, 100 AD."
Phoebe: "Love will keep us together. Captain and Tennille, 1970's."

Season 6

6x01 - Valhalley of the Dolls, Part one
Phoebe: "Oh, Piper, hi! You're never gonna believe this. I think I have a new power. It would certainly explain a lot of my weird behaviour lately, like why I wanted to date Chad and why my advice has been so amazingly accurate. I know, this is huge, right? Huge. So what's my new power you ask? Oh, I'll tell you. Do you remember that empath we helped a couple of years ago? That guy that could feel what other people were feeling?"
Chris: "Uh, Phoebe."
Phoebe: "Just a sec. I think that's what I am now. An empath. I am an empath. That's my new power. Or at least an advancement of my premonition power, I don't know."
Chris: "Neither does she, I'm afraid. Know, that is. Anything. Paige erased her memory."
Piper: "Can you blow things up too?"

6x02 - Valhalley of the Dolls, Part two 
Paige: "Well that little magical whammy you performed on her kind of, um, backfired."
Phoebe: "You see, after you left, Piper was really..."
Paige: "Chipper. Yeah, incessantly, increasingly, annoyingly chipper."
Phoebe: "What she said."
Leo: "Well, it was supposed to make her feel less pain. I guess with me not around to pull it back a little bit, she got happier and happier?"
Paige: "Um, no, psychotically chipper."

6x03 - Forget Me... NotPiper: (to Wyatt) "Okay, bud, here we go. Here we go, okay. Hey, lookie, how about this? (picks up a teddy) You like this guy? Hello. No? Pheebs, a little help here."
Phoebe: "We hate that toy. It's yucky and crusty and gross."
Piper: "Okay, then what does he want?"
Phoebe: "That." (points at the TV) 
Piper: "Yeah, see, I am a failure."
Paige: "No, you're not. We just happen to have more pressing concerns right now than the media's influence."

6x05 - Love's a WitchPhoebe: "Trust me. The sooner you get back on the dating horse, the easier it will be."
Piper: "No, I know. You're right, you're absolutely right. It's just, the truth is, I'm a little scared. I mean, I was married to an angel, for crying out loud. Who is gonna compare to that?"
Phoebe: "I know, but, Piper, you also dated a demon, a warlock and a ghost, you know. That's what you should be scared of."
Piper: "Super pep talk, sis."

6x10 - Chris Crossed  
Leo: "What would you say if I told you whoever attacked Chris was called a Phoenix?"
Paige: "Well, I would say, 'What's a Phoenix?' and then you'd probably tell me."

6x11 - Witchstock 
Grams: "Men are like utensils; you use them, wash them, and throw them in a drawer until you need them."

6x13 - Used Karma
Paige: "Okay, she's French. Bad karma. Napoleon?"
Piper: "Probably not."
Paige: "Okay, what about Marie Antoinette, Queen Isabella, the she-wolf of France?"
 
Paige: "Okay, let's see. Speaks French, hates the country, more than willing to strip in public. Oh my God, I saw something in here. (Reading from a book) 'Famous females spies: Mata Hari.'"
Piper: "Wasn't she one of the bond girls?"

6x16 - The Courtship of Wyatt's Father
Paige: "Chris is your son."
Phoebe: "Wyatt's brother. Look I know this is huge."
Piper: "No, It's not huge, because it's not possible. It's crazy! I'm not pregnant! How could that happen!? I mean, I know how that could happen... But, it...... What am I going to do?"
Phoebe: "Maybe you should talk to Leo about it?"
Piper: "No! I can't!"
Phoebe: "Why?"
Piper: "Well, because, because, because I can't!"

6x19 - Crimes and Witch-Demeanors
Chris: "I think I have a new theory on who might be trying to turn Wyatt evil."
Paige: "Oh, a new theory. What's that? Like the third one this week?"
Chris: "What're you keeping score now?"
Phoebe: "She's just grumpy 'cause she hasn't had her coffee yet."
Paige: "I am not grumpy. (Phoebe gives her a look) Ok, fine, maybe a little bit. But you have to admit you've had a lot of different theories lately, and none of them have panned out."
Chris: "That's why they call them 'theories.'"
Paige: "Do we even get along in the future?"

6x 22 - It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad World, Part one
Piper: "Since when are you in such a hurry to say goodbye?"
Phoebe: "Well, since something happened with the thing, and the thing, with the thing."

6x23 - It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad World, Part two
Paige: "So we're starring in a little movie called Pleasantville."

Season 7

7x01 - A Call to Arms
Leo: "I haven't felt this potent in years."

7x03 - Cheaper by the Coven
Grams: "Not a good time, girls. I'm busy."
Paige: "You're dead."
Grams: "Well, it doesn't mean I can't have a life."

Piper: "Leo!"
Leo: "Oh, hi sweetie, how are you?"
Piper: "Don't you sweetie me! Where are the boys?"

7x04 - Charrrmed
Piper: "I think I found something."
Paige: "Huh?"
Piper: "I said I think I found something. What, are you deaf now too?"
Paige: "Well, you're gonna go deaf first. Don't forget, you're the older sister."
Piper: "Yeah, I love you too."

7x06 - Once in a Blue Moon
Leo: "Still, he's gonna be sent here tomorrow." 
Piper: "Well, I hope I don't blow him up."
Leo: "Piper, you can't blow up a whitelighter."
Phoebe: "Why not? She blows you up all the time."

7x08 - Charmed Noir
Piper: "Who would shoot a gnome? And why is the 'G' silent?"

Piper: "Matchmake later, save sister now."

7x09 - There's Something About Leo
Leo: "Piper, you can't walk out on this."
Piper: "You're right. We should orb."

7x16 - The Seven Year Witch
Piper: (turning to Cole) "What are you exactly? Ghost? Demon? Poltergist? Nightmare?"
Cole: "None of the above."

7x20 - Imaginary Friends
Future Good Wyatt: "Hey, is this Chris? My gosh, he's so small...hey little brother. Is this before or after he swallowed the marble?"
Piper: "Marble? What marble?"
Phoebe: "Easy on the future information."
Future Good Wyatt: "Of course, you're right."
Piper: "No, but really...what marble?"

7x22 - Something Wicca This Way Goes?
Phoebe: "Those demons do have a way of keeping you warm at night."
Piper: "Yeah, but that's only because they have fireballs."

Season 8

8x01 - Still Charmed and Kicking
The Brunette (Phoebe): "I can't believe how many leprechauns are at my urn."
Brown-Haired Woman (Piper): "They always had the hots for you."
The Brunette (Phoebe): "It's a little creepy, but I guess you can't be too picky when you're dead."

8x02 - Malice in Wonderland
Paige: "Witches don't wear costumes."
Billie: "So the conical hat and black cape are everyday wear?"

8x03 - Run Piper, Run 
Piper: "Hurry, get the mattress."
Paige: "What if it doesn't work?"
Piper: "Well, then it was a bad idea."

8x05 - Rewitched
Paige: "Is this what we've been reduced to? Loveless sex? Pimping?"
Piper: "Yes."

8x06 - Kill Billie Vol. 1Paige: "Why do you wanna do it?"
Billie: "So I can show you guys that I can. Come on! Please? I know I can do this."
Piper: "Fine, but if you get caught on tape I will vanquish you."

8x08 - Battle of the Hexes
Piper: (talking about Agent Murphy) "He can't make us do this on a weekly basis, it's boring."
Phoebe: "Well... if he does, we'll just turn him into a frog or something..."

Phoebe: "I'm very busy too. I have dates, lots and lots of dates."
Piper: "Are you trying to get pregnant again?"
Phoebe: "No, I'm tryling to find love."
  
Phoebe: "He's got case files for us."
Paige: "What are we, Charlie's Witches? We don't work for him."
Phoebe: "Apparently he seems to think that. Especially reminding me over and over, he bailed us out of our little jam."
Piper: "That's blackmail."
Phoebe: "No, that's your taxpayers dollars at work."

8x09 - Hulkus Pocus
Billie: "Look, Paige already gave the 'what were you thinking'-speech so..."
Piper: "So? What were you thinking?"

Paige: "Did I miss something?"
Phoebe: "Nothing."
Piper: "A lot. See ya!"

Phoebe: "Just so you know, I know what you're trying to do and it's not gonna work."
Piper: "Okay, just so you know, I know what you're trying to do and I will be relentless."

8x12 - Payback's a Witch
Piper: "I have enough to do without worrying about who you're torturing in the attic!"

8x13 - Repo Manor
Piper: "Oh, don't tell me we're stuck in the doll house again."
Phoebe: "Yeah, this seems to be an annual event for you."

Paige: "Well, you wanted to live like us. Now you get to die like us."

8x17 - Generation Hex
Coop: "You can't run from love Phoebe, you know that."
Phoebe: "Oh, does it look like I'm running? Because I'm not running, I'm walking."

8x19 - The Jung and the Restless
Phoebe: "Ok. What did Billie say to you at the club?"
Piper: "She said something about... I kept blowing her up, and... you know... right about now that seems like a pretty fabulous idea!"

Piper: "When did you become the big sister?"
Paige: "When you stopped acting like one."

8x20 - Gone with the Witches
Phoebe: "Oh God...I know I know! It's forbidden love and I'm doomed and...and...and we're doomed and everything's doomed!"
Piper: "That about sums it up."

Phoebe (referring to Coop): "One minute we were talking and the next minute I was attacking him."
Paige: "Magically?"
Phoebe: "No, sexually."

8x21 - Kill Billie Vol. 2
Phoebe: "I think we're going in circles because this looks very familiar."
Paige: "Yeah, it looks the same to me too."
Piper: "Well, of course it does. It's the Underworld. It all looks the same. How many looks can they come up with?"
Paige: "No wonder they wanna take over our world. This is ugly."

Coop: "Nobody will ever love your daughter more than me, ever. I promise you that."
Victor: "What do you know about love?"
Coop: "I'm a Cupid!"
Victor: "Well that doesn't mean squat unless you've had your heart broken. Have you had your heart broken?"
Coop: "No."
Victor: "Then you don't know about love, believe me."

8x22 - Forever Charmed
Phoebe: "Are you getting any of this?"
Paige: "Whatever...as long as we're alive again that's all I care about. Plus, it's really nice to see you guys again!"
Patty: "Actually, we've never met."
Paige: "Yes, we have, but you were ghost. [the look on Patty's face suddenly changed] Oh, does she know?"
Grams: "Yes, we know, we're both dead by now. We're over it."

Phoebe: "Wait, you guys went to the future, too?"
Paige: "We sure did miss a lot when we were dead."

Patty: "Now, this is our grandson Wyatt… ooh, so handsome!"
Victor: "But I-I'm… I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm so confused."
Patty: "Ah, you'll get over it. I did."
Victor: "Where did you come from."
Patty: "1975. How do I look?"
Victor: "… Didn't anyone tell her, we're divorced?" (Patty stops smiling.) 
Patty: "What?"
Victor: "You dumped me, for your Whitelighter."
Patty: "Sam?"
Victor: "Yeah, Sam! Paige's father!"

Paige: "Hey! What are you doing here?"
Henry: "What am I doing here? I'm looking for my wife. She didn't come home last night. Are you okay?"
Paige: "Yes, I'm okay! Of course I'm okay! I mean, we weren't 'okay'-okay, but now we're okay and in the future I think we're gonna be... I think we're gonna be more than okay."
Henry: (stares blankly) "Okay."
Grams: "Don't tell me she marries a Whitelighter too."
Piper: "Worse. A mortal."
Grams: "Oh, good God. Didn't I teach you girls anything?"
Piper: "Hey, what can I say? There's always Uncle Coop!"

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Pffhew...That was a pretty long one, but what else should I have expected with eight seasons to go through? There's something fun in every ep, but that would have taken me forever and the blog would have been even longer. 

If you want more information about the show or more quotes, I can really recommend the wikipage:  http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Charmed_%28TV_series%29
I hope you enjoyed the vids as well, there are plenty of them on YouTube. To finish with two, here are some great ones. Not with quotes, but about the entire show. Blessed be! ;-)