1x01 - Welcome to the Hellmouth
Buffy: "It's my first day! I was afraid that I was gonna be behind in all my classes, that I wouldn't make any friends, that I would have last month's hair. I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus"
1x12 - Prophecy Girl
Buffy: "Giles, care? I'm putting my life on the line, battling the undead. Look, I broke a nail, ok? I'm wearing a press-on. The least you could do is exhibit some casual interest; you can go hmm."
Buffy: "I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you."
2x01 - When she was bad
Principal Snyder: "There are some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense."
Giles: "No. Actually that would be one of the five."
Buffy: "So are you gonna kill me, or are we just making small talk?"
Willow: "I knew it! I knew it! Well, not 'knew it' in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn't know. You two were fighting way too much, it's not natural."
2x15 - PhasesWillow: "It is nice. He's great. We have a lot of fun. But I want smoochies!"
Buffy: "Have you dropped any hints?"
Willow: "I've dropped anvils."
Giles:"Werewolves! One of the classics! I'm sure my books and I are in for a fascinating afternoon."
Buffy: "He needs to get a pet."
Buffy: "And I'm one of the few."
Giles: "Quite. And it, uh, acts on-on pure instinct. No conscience, uh, uh, predatory and, and aggressive."
Buffy: "In other words, your typical male."
Xander: "On behalf of my gender: Hey!"
Giles: "Yes, let's not jump to any conclusions."
Buffy: "I didn't jump. I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were."
Amy [asking Buffy about Valentine's Day]: "What about you?"Buffy: "Oh, Valentine's Day is just a cheap gimmick to sell cards and chocolates."
Amy: "Bad break-up, huh?"
Buffy: "Believe me when I say, 'uh-huh'."
Giles: "Might I have a word?"
Buffy: "Have a sentence, even."
Willow: "Oz has his cool hair today.... I think I'm a groupie!"
Xander: "It's time for me to act like a man... and hide!"
Giles: "I cannot believe that you are fool enough to do something like this."
Xander: "Oh, no, I'm twice the fool it takes to do somethin' like this.
Oz: "But you're not a rat. So call it an upside."
Buffy: "You think maybe you could get me some clothing?"
Oz: "Yes, I can. Just, uh...don't go anywhere."
Buffy: "Really not an issue."
3x01 - Anne
Buffy: "I don't want any trouble. I just want to be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don't even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one."
Buffy: "One day I just looked in the mirror and I thought 'I'm dirty. With all the sex and ... the loud music us kids listen to nowadays... Oh I just suck in undercover. Where's Ken?"
Buffy: "Hey Ken, wanna see my impression of Ghandi?"
(smashes Ken's head in, who's lying on the ground)
Buffy: "You know, if he was really pissed off."
3x08 - Lovers Walk
Spike: "You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other until it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood -- blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it"
Spike: "Oh, sod the spell. Your friends are at the factory. I'm really glad I came here, you know? I've been all wrongheaded about this - weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just got to be the man I was. The man she loved. I'm going to do what I should have done in the first place. I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her until she likes me again. Love's a funny thing."
3x09 - The Wish
Willow: "Isn't he gonne go 'poof'?"
Buffy: "hm, I guess these guys don't. Maybe we should bury him or something."
[Buffy, Willow and Xander shrug their shoulders and walk away]
3x11 - Gingerbread
Buffy (in a high-pitched voice): "Did I get it? Did I get it?"
3x16 - Doppelgangland
Buffy: "Aren't you going to introduce me to your... Holy God, you're Willow"
3x18 - Earshot
Xander: "What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time! Sex.. Help! Four times five is thirty...five times six is thirty-two... Naked girls. Naked women... Naked Buffy... Oh, stop me!"
4x02 -Living Conditions
Buffy (on Kathy): "I knew it! I knew you were one of those demon things!"
Spike: "Bear! You made a bear!"
Buffy: "I didn't mean to."
Spike: "Undo it! Undo it!"
4x11 - Doomed
Giles: "It's the end of the world."
Buffy, Willow and Xander: "Again?!"
Buffy (relating to earthquakes): "I told you. I said 'End of the World,' and you were like 'pooh-pooh, Southern California, pooh-pooh."
5x01 - Buffy vs. Dracula
Dracula: "Very impressive hunt. Such power."
Buffy: "That was no hunt. That was just another day on the job. Care to step up for some overtime?"
Dracula: "We're not going to fight."
Buffy: "Do you know what a Slayer is?"
Dracula: "Do you?"
Buffy: "Who are you?"
Dracula: "I apologize. I assumed you knew. I am Dracula."
Buffy: "Get out!"
5x11 - Triangle
Giles: "The resources that the Watcher's Council have at their disposal... I mean, the central library alone is--"
Buffy: "Don't talk about the books again. You get all... And sometimes there's drool."
Willow: "I'm not stealing. I'm just taking things without paying for them. In what twisted dictionary is that stealing?"
5x12 - Checkpoint
Tara: "Wh-what's so bad about them coming here? Aren't they good guys? I mean, Watchers, that's just like other Gileses, right?"
Buffy: "Yeah, they're scary and horrible!"
Glory: "Buffy, if I wanted to fight, you could tell by the being dead already."
6x06 - All the Way
Giles: "No. Unless I blocked it from my memory, much as I will Xander's vigorous use of his tongue." (takes off his glasses and cleans them on his shirt)
Buffy: "Is that why you're always cleaning your glasses? So you won't have to see what we're doing?"
Giles: "Tell no one."
6x08 - Tabula Rasa
Giles: "Magic?! Magic's all balderdash and chicanery."
Spike (on Giles): "Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that Nancy-boy accent. You English men are always so... bloody hell! (counting on his fingers) Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks. Oh God... I'm English."
7x04 - Help
Dawn: "You know, I'm not the shortes one here. I don't know why I had to be in the kid coffin."
7x06 - Him
Willow: "I have tried every anti-love spell spell I could find."
Anya: "Even if you find the right one, the guy would probably just do an anti-anti-love spell spell.... spell."
Buffy: "Willow, you're a gay woman! And he... isn't."
Willow: "This isn't about his physical presence! It's about his heart."
Anya: "His physical presence has a penis!"
Xander: "Will, honey... R.J.'s a guy."
Willow: "I did notice that, yeah! It's why I'm doing my spell, because, you know, he doesn't have to be!"
Buffy: "You realize that Anya's probably seducing R.J. even as we speak."
Willow: "My God, you think so?"
Buffy: "Well, I wouldn't put it past her. She's recently evil you know."
Willow: Well, so am I. Why should I miss out?"
Feel free to comment on this (or my other) blog and share some of your quotes. They don't have to be from this show, but it could be quotes like 'We're gonna need a bigger boat' or 'Housten, we have a problem'. Can't wait to see if anyone comments! :-)
Note: This page will keep changing, seeing how sometimes Btvsquotes just pop into my head. I will add them to this page. If you can't wait that long, or simply can't get enough there are a lot of websites that focus on just their quotes (or simply rewatch the show).
Note 2: I don't own any of these quotes, of course. They were written by the amazing creative team of writers of the show. Some names? Joss Whedon (duh!), Marti Noxon, Jane Espenson, Doug Petrie, David Greenwalt, David Fury, Rebecca Rand Kishner, and so many more.